Cracking almonds without a nutcracker

I think on some level you'll just get what you get with something hard like an almond. A really really sharp knife with a thin blade can help, but you can only do so much. My hand-cut ones are always a bit on the raggedy side.

When using a food processor, try smaller batches to leave bigger or more consistent pieces. You don't have to pulse as long to get everything broken up, so you get less that's ground to nothing. Do a small batch for a short chop, dump 'em out, do another.

As to how to do slivered or sliced almonds, I always figured that they started with blanched almonds (which are less crisp in my experience) or maybe even raw ones and then roasted them after cutting to crisp them up. You might experiment with blanched or unroasted almonds and see if you get a better result with a knife.

i usually use half of a previously-opened pistachio shell! use the tip of it as a bit of lever: slip it into the opening of the one you're working on, and rotate it, and it will open it as easy as pie. the downside is that you will be able to eat many, many more pistachios this way. i usually end up with a mouth raw from all the salt, haha.