You should be able to get a reasonable steak stovetop using a cast iron grill pan, if you have a strong enough exhaust. Oil the cast iron pan (with canola or such), then heat it very hot, until it starts to smoke. Make sure the meat is completely dry on the outside (wipe with a paper towel, water will prevent browning) and gently place in the pan. Leave it there for a minute or two (it'll smoke quite a bit!), rotate 90° to get the nice grill marks. Leave for another minute or two. Flip, and repeat for the other side.
It may splatter, have a splatter screen handy. It will smoke, quite a bit, make sure the exhaust is on high.
You will probably have a medium-rare steak now. Using a thinner cut will make it more well done (you can cut a thick steak in half with your chef's knife, making two thin steaks); so will plopping it in the oven (not sure if you want the oven before or after searing, I like 'em medium rare...).
Remember to let the meat rest for 5 minutes or so before serving.
Also, if your steaks are coming out ridiculously tough, you're probably using the wrong cut of meat, or some terrible grade. What cut are you using?
[edit: I should note that, in case it wasn't obvious, the burner should be up pretty high]
Edit by rumtscho There is a reason this answer specifies a cast iron pan. If you are limited in your cookware choice, pay attention to the maximum temperature your pan can tolerate. If you are using a non-stick pan, you have to go on medium heat and wait longer, else you'll damage the pan. (And sorry, but you can't get it as tasty as on high heat that way).
There's a few things that could be going on here:
- cut: not all steak cooks at the same rate. Really tender cuts cook faster than some of the tougher, more flavorful cuts, increasing cooking time by up to 50%. Cuts like tenderloin, filet, and loin (US) - Sirloin (UK) are more tender and cook faster. Denser cuts like sirloin, top sirloin, and bottom sirloin (US) and rump (UK) cook slower. If you are cooking a denser cut then you simply need to cook it longer.
- Pan heat: Most chefs have really good stoves that produce load of heat, most mere mortals have average stoves which aren't as powerful. Medium heat on a professional, or very high quality stove is hotter than the medium heat on an average stove, so try cranking it up to full blast. Also, make sure your pan is fully up to temp. I cook my steaks on a cast iron skillet, and I let it heat up for 10 minutes before I start frying steak
- Heat contact: even though steak is full of fat it takes some time for this to start working, so coating your steak with a bit of vegetable oil (not olive oil, it burns at high temperatures) will make sure it gets good heat contact
So my advice would be to get the pan hotter and cook it longer. Try adding one more minute per side.
EDIT:
@kenny says that he is cooking loin, so assuming it's 3/4", or 2cm thick and looking for medium done-ness I would cook the first side for 5 minutes and then the second side 3 minutes. The uneven times are to make sure it cooks evenly. So you need a total of 8 minutes cooking time. I don't do the flip every minute method because the uneven times work for me, and it lets me do other prep.
Best Answer
This is a 'how long is a piece of string' question. The thickness of the meat, the thickness and material of the pan, your hob type and various other factors will all influence the cooking time. So it is impossible to give you a hard and fast answer.
The best solution is to simply remove time from the equation altogether. Invest in a quick read digital probe thermometer and measure the temperature! You want the steak to be 55-57C in the middle for medium rare. It will keep cooking while it rests, so take the steak off the heat when it hits about 53-54.