For pan frying you probably want to start with a firm tofu. It's a good idea to press the tofu to remove excess water: wrap the tofu in a cloth and place it between two cutting boards, weighting the top cutting board with a heavy book or other similar object. Wait at least twenty minutes (you can prepare the rest of the vegetables/onions for the stir fry at this point.
Once the tofu has been pressed, cut it into the desired pieces. It's a good idea to fry it at medium-high heat in only oil first, then add sauces (soy sauce, vinegar, whatever) only after the tofu begins to brown slightly.
Note: the above won't simulate deep-fried tofu. For deep fried tofu, you may want to use a softer tofu, still press it before using, and coat the cubes in corn starch before frying. Of course you probably know you can deep-fry at home with just a large pot of oil.
For a different texture you can freeze the tofu before frying.
Although not fried, I would also recommend that you try baked (marinaded) tofu to see if you like that texture/flavor better. You would still want to press the tofu, then slice it rather thinly. You can reapply the marinade during baking for more flavor.
Yes, silken tofu is undrained tofu. In Japan it is often eaten raw, in dishes like miso soup or even simply dipped in soy sauce. However, you can certainly cook it as well - it is especially useful as an egg substitute in vegan cookery (any number of recipes online).
Firm tofu is probably better for frying with as it holds its shape. If you have the time, patience and equipment (some form of weight and some muslin) you could press silken tofu to make firm, but firm is just as readily available.
Best Answer
Cast iron rules! but if i was to choose from the options you provided i would pick the heaviest / thickest one regardless of the material.