Intelligently Controlling 5 PTAC Units

What you're looking for is home automation. X10 is probably the most popular technology system for this, but that Wikipedia page lists a number of alternatives.

To address your specific areas of interest:

LED lighting

There may be pre-built solutions out there, but as you're already writing custom software, you may want to look into using something like the Arduino platform to control your lights. Done correctly, you should be able to get the effects you're after. I found a tutorial about how to do a simple LED system that may be useful.

Speaker Control

There are actually a number of systems out there for home media distribution, such as Linux MCE (it took awhile to load that page when I wrote this, but it did load without timing out). You may be able to use one of these, or work some of the code in from one to duplicate the functionality (MCE is open source). The most simple solution is to use small appliance computers that run a very lightweight Linux solution (like MCE) that stream from the base computer. There are actual streaming devices out there, but I'm not sure how well they would integrate into your automation/control software. If you literally just want to run speakers, you'll need multiple sound cards in the base computer to differentiate between the feeds.

Automagical Applicances

This is where the home automation tech comes in. Using something like X10, you have the ability to flip switches, monitor their status, etc. There are appliances out there that will talk some of these languages, allowing you to control them remotely. A quick search turns up an Engadget article pointing out LG Thinq devices that are accessible via WiFi and ZigBee. If you program your software to speak ZigBee, you should be able to integrate these appliances. Given the number of different protocols out there, you'll probably want to find your devices, try to settle on devices that use one protocol, and then write your code to speak that protocol, but you can also work with multiple protocols if you don't mind developing for each. I believe Linux MCE supports a few of those languages, and since it's open source, you can expand it to support whatever you'd like.

I've been doing something similar for the past couple of months. At present the setup only extends to my workshop (for testing). Currently I am using a single UNO for control which reads various sensor states, including light level and temperature/humidity, plus some door (reed relay) and IR movement sensors. The arduino reads the state and sends messages to some software ( currently Python 2.7 under Ubuntu) over UDP which then does the processing that is required and sends control commands back to the Arduino, again over UDP. The processing currently amounts to checking the internal light sensors and switching on the lights if necessary. Ultimately I want to migrate all my lighting to 12v LED so I can run off stored solar, but at present I am using a system similar to yours in that the relays are in series with the power switch for the lights, normally closed, so that if the control circuitry fails the light switches should operate as normal. I also have some external IR sensors and the same system activates an external security light, this time with a normally open relay. I consider using the normally closed relays as essential for the main lights, otherwise the domestic management will kick off once the system is rolled out to the rest of the house. I want to use LEDS because of their dimmable nature when using the PWM enabled pins of the Arduino, this will then enable a nice low level of light for those nocturnal toilet trips, all automatically of course. I have just taken delivery of a Mega 2560 which will provide a lot more IO. Like yourself I envisage having separate Arduino's for input and output. I am developing the control system in python, with the intention of migrating it to raspberry PI once development has finished. This will allow me to run it all an enclosure with a status screen hooked up to the composite video. I currently have a limited status screen running on the PC, which allows me to control the brightness of LED panels and GU16 bulbs. I have configured the arduino so it will accept commands from any device on the network, so I can set up some control from the android devices I have around the house. I also have a fully working zoneminder installation, but had not considered using it to trigger anything as yet, but then again I don't have any internal cameras on that, just external. I did consider thermal imaging, as you suggested, but I think cost is a major issues (would need to come in at below $100 Australian, per room to be feasible for me), so I'm persevering with low cost IR sensors (about $2 each from China). My Arduino code is not best but I am more than willing to share it. It is currently set up to monitor the various sensors in a constant loop, and also listens for a 3byte UDP string in the form of 410 (4 is light 4, 1 is for on, the last digit is used for a brightness level for the LED)

I do agree with the comment about the resale values of the house, but I'm not planning to move anytime in the foreseeable future. Your needs may be different.

The python code also does some DPMS control of the monitors in the workshop. Currently they are put to standby after 10 minutes of no workshop movement. I am in the process of setting up some power sockets that are switched in the same way as the lights, so the system can turn off things like my soldering iron and amplifiers that I frequently forget to leave on.

Let my know if I can be of any help with your project. It sounds great. Good luck

John