A good lube is beeswax. It lubes the screw, but does not retain moisture. I have also been known to use a stick type of teflon, used for lubing drawer guides. Or a chunk of paraffin is fine too.
You don't want to add water, so spit is a poor idea. Why encourage the screw to rust???? This is the same reason why soap works poorly. Soap is hydrophilic. Soap actually draws moisture to the screw, causing it to rust away prematurely, so a BAAAADDDDDD idea.
Drilling a pilot hole is often a help, but don't make the hole too fat, or the threads won't bite. I'll often go considerably smaller than the root diameter of the screw. Just a small pilot hole is often adequate in wood, unless one is working in a very hard wood.
Finally, if a screwdriver fails, I often resort to a brace, a hand held drill from the antique bins. Just check a hex bit into the drill and off you go. Even better, I keep my brace fitted with a quick connect for 1/4 inch hex bits always at hand.
I keep one of these tools always on the wall of my shop. It will drive a screw quickly into wood, with enough force to twist the head off most screws if I overdo it. But you also have perfect control over the torque. And the nice thing is, the battery never dies, it needs no extension cord.
Case 1: Bridge Air Gap By Fastening to Building Structure With Overhung-load Bearing Fasteners
The air gap problem is quite common: The sheetrock on many walls I have encountered doesn't contact the studs everywhere. So, when you tighten down a TV mount to the wall, the drywall deflects toward the studs. You can easily cause cracking of the drywall, particularly when there is a seam in the area.
The principle of the solutions in this case make use of a fastener's ability to support an overhung load.
The fastener and the building structure have to be strong enough to withstand the torque created by the downward force of TV and Mount acting over the distance between the drywall surface and the building structure.
Case 1.1: Use Hanger Bolts
Assuming you find wood building structure in there (furring doesn't count here because it will twist under the torque), I recommend hanger bolts.
Use a spade bit to clear a hole in the drywall big enough to accommodate a nut flush with the surface of the drywall. Then put the mount over the hanger bolt and tighten another nut down on that. The first nut will keep the drywall from deflecting toward the wall. Size the hanger bolt larger than normal because of the overhung load. From your description I would guess that 4x 1/4" hanger bolts would be adequate.
Make sure you pilot drill for your hanger bolt or you risk splitting whatever wooden structure you're screwing into.
Case 1.2: Variation for Concrete Construction
I've also encountered furred out concrete clad in drywall (common in highrise condominiums). In that case, the same principal as Case 1.1 applies, but use "drop-in anchors" and a threaded stud instead of hanger bolts.
Case 2: Fasten to Furring with No Air Gap
Sometimes drywall is attached to and is in contact with (i.e. no air gap) furring.
Case 2.1 Furring Attached to Building Structure
Where furring is attached directly to the building structure, drive multiple wood screws directly into the furring. If there is some hard material behind the furring, ensure that the screws are short enough. Otherwise they can jack the furring from the building structure when their points impact cinderblock or concrete.
The principle of this solution is to transfer the load to the building's structure directly through the furring.
Case 2.2 Furring Dubiously Attached to Building Structure
Where furring and drywall are creating their own structure, drive multiple wood screws into the furring to fasten your TV mount.
The principle of this solution is to use the furring to distribute the load to a large area of the composite structure of furring and drywall.
Drywall itself is rather heavy, so if the wall is able to hold itself up, there's a good chance it can hold up your TV to provided you distribute the load over a large enough area of drywall and furring.
Best Answer
Depending how you make your joints, if you choose to use screws, they need to go into the joining piece at least 3/4"-1" deep, and deeper when going into the end of a piece, 1 1/2" is a good depth, For this you can use a 2" screw, countersunk a little. The drawing below, may have a little more info than what you are looking for, but it will give you options if you choose.
I would suggest putting a 1/4" thick plywood back, thinner will work too if available. I have cut this with a razor knife if you do not have a table saw. The back can be nailed on with 1' brads after the shelves are assembled
If you are not concerned about the looks and it will be a utility type shelf these are the screws I would use. Still nail the back on with 1" brads
Any of these countersinks will do what you need, make sure you keep your drill perpendicular to the wood and in the center of the shelf for the thickness, about 3/4" from the edge from the front and back.