What I want to write is
formal, or polite version of
what the hell are you talking about?
A reason why I can't use this is beacuse a person who's saying this is a middle-aged man, and he's not likely to say something like "what the hell.."
And I know I can just remove "the hell" and go for "what are you talking about?", but it's too simple compared to what I initially wanted to say. I don't know what exactly "hell" means here, but I know it does have some impolite, negative connotations. But here, he isn't being that offensive. He's kind of emphasizing what he had just heard is a total nonsense.
Is there any expression which is a formal version of "what the hell are you talking about" in English?
Or is there any good word that can replace "the hell"?
Best Answer
There are perhaps several hundred ways to say this, most of which depend on the personality, background, nationality, education, social class, etc. of the person involved. A colorful example:
This is a British expression dating back to the 17th century where "deuce" is used in place of "devil" ("The devil you say!"). I'm not sure how formal it is, but it seems to have been acceptable between Victorian gentlemen (although possibly not when ladies were present).
Apparently it means something more like "I don't believe what you just said!" which can sometimes be the purpose of saying "What the hell are you talking about?"
In a similar way you can often substitute the mild epithet "heck" for "hell":
Other possibilities:
More colloquially:
Of course, you can always go the other direction by using stronger epithets than "hell". Feel free to get creative.