Learn English – Difference between “Ashamed” and “Embarrassed”

meaningword-difference

What difference is there between "Ashamed" and "Embarrassed"?

Is it that "Ashamed" is more serious than "Embarrassed"? For example, you'd say "I was embarrassed to be wearing mis-matching socks", while you'd say "I was ashamed of that stupid argument I had"?

I came across https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/88320/embarassed-vs-ashamed, but it had only one answer, and it didn't feel definitive enough.

Best Answer

Comparing these two definitions from OxfordDictionaries shows the two words obviously overlap...

embarrass - cause (someone) to feel awkward, self-conscious, or ashamed
ashamed - embarrassed or guilty because of one’s actions, characteristics, or associations

But two key differences are...

1: embarrassed more often applies to socially awkward contexts, rather than regret, guilt
2: You don't usually feel embarrassed when you're alone

I don't really like OP's idea that being ashamed is more "serious" than being embarrassed. I might feel ashamed if I discovered I was the only person in my road who didn't leave a Christmas tip for the postie, but that would be nothing compared to how embarrassed I'd feel if I discovered said postie knew exactly what was in all the packages she'd delivered over the preceding year!

TL;DR: Shame is mainly a response to having transgressed your own (internal) moral code. Embarrassment is more about feeling that others may laugh or look down on you for something you did.

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