Learn English – Difference between “Have you ever married?” and “Have you ever been married?”

Don't be so hard on yourself. English is very difficult.

This talks about present perfect tense - which have been by itself falls under, and have been by itself can be used to describe an experience:

You can use the Present Perfect to describe your experience. It is like saying, "I have the experience of..." You can also use this tense to say that you have never had a certain experience. The Present Perfect is NOT used to describe a specific event.

Have been + {-ing form of verb} is present perfect continuous tense, which is different. That's used to talk about something that has started at some time in the past and is still ongoing or happening now.

Putting would in front of either of these now says that the action or experience did not happen because of something. Typically a clause will precede or follow explaining why, typically starting with but.

I would have been to Japan, but I was unable to afford the trip.

I hated her guts. I would have otherwise gone to the skating rink.

I would have been going with him, but he sort of creeped me out. So I went with her instead.

We would have ruled the entire kingdom, yet their relentless attacks on our land proved it impossible.

I think you want to know the difference between "go to some place" and "have been to some place". The difference is that when you use "go to," you are talking about the action of just going to that place. Whereas, when you use "have been to," you're talking about the action of going and coming back. That's the difference between "go to a place" and "have been to a place". In your sentences:

• Have you ever been to London?
• Have you ever gone to London?

Both of these sentences are correct. There is a slight difference in meaning. In the first one, the speaker is asking about the listener's visit to London (action of returning included). In the second one, the speaker is just asking about the action of going to London (action of returning excluded). I hope that it's clear now. By the way, the first sentence is commoner than the second one.