I captured these two shots from Transformers Dark of the Moon.
The lady was pissed when addressed as "Ma'am". However, Colonel Lennox surely meant no disrespect, as military protocol advises that officers may use "sir" or "ma'am" when addressing anybody.
My question is: In real life, if I don't know her name, real age or occupation, how should I address a lady like her in an elegant way without offending her?
Best Answer
This fictional character is sensitive about her appearance. She used to look young. She was either addressed as "Miss", or by her name. (Possibly with "Miss", or "Ms.", or "Mrs.", or another title at the beginning of her name.) Now that she looks older, she is sometimes addressed as "Ma'am", or by her name. She associates the term "Ma'am" with older people, and hears it from people who do not know her well.
'Do I look like a "Ma'am"?' could be friendly, if said face-to-face with a smile.
But in this context (where she is avoiding looking at the person she is talking to), it is quite rude. Granted, she had already said twice to quit calling her "Ma'am", so she was definitely provoked.
If one wanted to be even ruder than this fictional character, one could reply 'No, you look like a bitch. I said "Ma'am" to be polite.' That would be a risky approach -- it could earn her respect, or it could "piss her off", or both.
A politer approach would be to assume that "Ma'am" is a polite title with which to address a woman, but to be prepared to stop saying "Ma'am" if she hints that she does not appreciate being called "Ma'am". 'Stop with the "Ma'am"' is much stronger than most hints.