Learn English – “How are you?” as a welcome in a shop

australian-englishculturegreetingspoliteness

As an Italian in Australia for a while, I noticed this very common use of "how are you" as a greeting to welcome you into a shop, and customers answer with a second "how are you". A stranger, in Italy, will never ask you such a question, you don't know him, he doesn't know you, and "common sense" imposes a "good morning" or similar, not even "hello", too friendly.

This is why is NEVER got used to that, and every time I ended up stuttering something like "fine, how are you", or just "fine" inevitably feeling a bit stupid and/or awkward. Point is that I couldn't help myself putting the actual answer ("fine") in my formal answer ("how are you?/and you?").

My questions are

  1. Don't you feel the weirdness of answering a question with the same question? I understand that's common use, but to me that's something really confusing, I had a hard time trying to deal with it.

  2. Every time I answered with just "fine, I was looking for a book blablabla…" I thought "ok, that was wrong, I said 'fine' and nobody does that, I didn't ask 'how are you' and everybody does that." Was my answer actually impolite (or something else) because of these two reasons?

Best Answer

I think the weirdness comes from the fact that this is not really a conversation, in the sense that it is not an exchange of information between people who intend to be talking to each other.

In some cultures (including the US, where I am), it is considered friendly to acknowledge someone entering (and leaving) your store with some kind of greeting. Asking after their health or well-being is a formula; practically no one expects you to answer the question in its actual meaning.

This is part of a set of formulas that I think practically every culture has for conversation in one way or another. There are papers written on the subject. In this case, perhaps you could think of it as the speaker's way of letting you know that they have noticed you and are free to talk with you; you can reply with any formula of your own ("fine", "ok", "better than a sharp stick in the eye") to acknowledge that they have spoken; if what you say sounds enough like a formula itself (the first two, not the last), then you will not be expected to continue a conversation.

But if you came into the shop looking for something you wanted help with, the fact that they said something might help you know they were free to listen to what you wanted at that time, in case you would otherwise have been shy about asking.

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