Phrase Request – How to Ask About Sibling Order in a Family

There are a few phrases that you can use, such as in place (of), instead (of) (also stead), to express the "doing something for somebody", depending on the context.

In any case, the phrase for someone doesn't have to mean that the person you do something for must be lazy. This, again, depends on the context. Compare:

He asked me to do his assignment for him.
I offered myself to do his assignment for him.

Here are some examples of in place (of), in someone's place, instead (of), and stead, I found on the web:

John came to help in place of Max, who was sick.
When the king's cloaked challenge is answered, Fluellen stands in place of him, representing him, and receiving the blow.
She knew she should not have sent him to work in her place tonight.
"O king, take my life instead of hers. Let me die in her place," he pleaded.
... it was Judas who was crucified instead of him, ...
... she had to ask their family doctor to prescribe instead of him making it available to begin with.
Take me instead! Not my boy!
The chairman spoke in her stead.
The marketing manager was ill and her deputy ran the meeting in her stead.

So, you can say any of these followings (choose wisely, register is important),

He asked me to do his assignment for him.
He asked me to do his assignment in place of him.
He asked me to do his assignment in his place.
He asked me to do his assignment instead.
He asked me to do his assignment instead of him.
He asked me to do his assignment instead of him doing it himself.
He asked me to do his assignment in his stead. (formal)

A Google Ngram (link) shows that "questions you (may/might) have" is more common than the idiomatic "questions on your mind" by at least an order of magnitude. And I think the former is more neutral and natural.

Below are two examples, showing how different phrasing leads to different answers. This first example uses "things you want to know" as another way to write this concept:

VARIATION #1: "What are the three most important things you want to know when you visit a new store?"

• "three most important" - Focus is on importance rather than time.
• "you want to know" - Focus is on the knowledge desired.
• "when you visit" - This diminishes the focus of exact timing; the answer may be before, during, or after entering.

Typical answers might be:

• "The location of the store (directions)"
• "The quality of the merchandise."
• "The price of the merchandise."

Now suppose you are creating a more focused (perhaps psychological) questionnaire, and you want people to provide questions that they believe might occur spontaneously upon entering a store:

VARIATION #2: "Name the first three questions you might have the moment you enter a store for the first time."

• "Name" - I used the action verb, "name" instead of the question, "what are" because the answer to "what are" implies there's a factual answer rather than the creative answer we are seeking. This reduces cognitive dissonance (i.e. confusion; more on this later). This is subtle!
• "the first three questions" - This focuses the reader on immediacy of questions. (I think if people are forced to make quick decisions or consider immediate concerns, they will tend to choose safety issues.)
• "you might have" - People don't have three literal questions in mind at the moment they enter stores, and asking too matter-of-factly could create cognitive dissonance: they might wonder if they understand the question correctly. The phrase "you might have" anticipates the reader's thinking and suggests a creative mindset. Compare to, "What are the first three questions you have when..." and the person thinks, "Huh? I have three questions each time?"
• "the moment you enter" - Focuses the reader to consider the time as exactly the moment of entry.

Typical answers might be:

• "How is the store layout organized?"
• "Does anyone in the store look dangerous?"
• "Which way do I want to go first?"