Learn English – I can’t even with this place (meaning)

I would have to watch the episode in question to be 100% certain, but I'm nearly certain that he actually said "get a bead on".

'Bead' and 'beat' will sound essentially identical in many North American accents.

The 'bead' in the phrase 'get a bead on' is referring to the bead on the end of a gun with bead iron sights. Literally speaking, if you have a bead on someone, then your gun is aimed at them. Figuratively speaking, this means you know exactly where they are, or what they are doing. If you can't get a bead on someone, you either don't know where they are, or don't understand their actions or intent.

This started for referring to a new trend or fashion overtaking an old one. So for instance:

Comedy is the new Rock'n'Roll

The idea would be that things you might have previously associated with being a Rock'n'Roll musician (money, fame, fans, attention) are now things that you get with comedy. So rather than aspire to be a rock star and practice an instrument, one might consider studying comedy to have that kind of success.

It's a sort of funny way of saying that, and the kind of person who "tells you what's cool and what isn't" in this way is an easy target for mockery. So the construct has been picked up in ever-more-absurd ways, as people try and twist it further.

Imagine if you and your friends are trying to make a recipe, and it called for butter and you only have olive oil. You might make the substitution, excusing it by saying "Everyone knows olive oil is the new butter". This doesn't mean that you think butter is out of style and no one "cool" uses it any more--you're making a joke by acting as if you believed that.

At this point, most all usages are for humorous effect.