Reading the sentence aloud (always helps) led me to conclusion that you wouldn't change the phrase for the past tense.
'As if she were is an example of the imperfect subjunctive; she isn't all there is to his life, but the context considers the hypothetical possibility of it, so we stick that tense in there.
Regardless of which tense you're writing in, the imperfect subjunctive is still the imperfect subjunctive. The perfect tense doesn't work as a replacement in this case.
Wishes are unrealizable conditionals, so we backshift the tense of the verb. can is backshifted to could, will to would, and present simple meet is backshifted to simple past met. be is an exception because it has a proper subjunctive: am/are/is backshift to were.
You mention guidelines about action words for future actions, but the word now in examples a and b locates the sentences in the present, so these guidelines don't apply. Furthermore, these guidelines explain what you should do, but they don't explain why you should do it.
I believe that it is much more effective to go back to first principles and make a complete sentence that expresses exactly your wish as it can happen or is/will be happening, then backshift:
I am eating that cheesecake
I wish I were eating that cheesecake.
I can eat that cheesecake
I wish I could eat that cheesecake
My father will let me borrow the car
I wish my father would let me borrow the car
Note that eat is an action word, but the first two examples relate to the present so the "action verb" rule doesn't apply. The first example does not require could and the second example does. Working this way, you can see why could is necessary- because can expresses ability / permission, and can -> could. The third example is about a future event, so will -> would.
You are right that a) and c) are correct. To find out what's wrong with b) and d), remove the backshifts and see what you get:
b) I meet her now.
d) I meet her more often.
b) doesn't make sense because meet is present simple, and we don't use present simple for current events- we use present continuous. To find the correct way of talking about now, change that sentence to present continuous and backshift it:
b) I am meeting her now
b) I wish I were meeting her now.
d) doesn't make sense because more often requires some reference level. If you talk about capability, there is an impled reference level:
d) I can see her more often [than I do]
d) I wish I could see her more often [than I do]
Best Answer
When talking about when or where you were born, you use the simple past (I was born). So to talk about where you wish you had been born, you need to use the past perfect. In wishes, the past perfect represents an unreal past (whereas were would represent an unreal present or unreal future):