What's the difference between:
They are not your friends if you had to change for them.
They are not your friends if you have to change for them.
Context: 1 2 3 are are a group of friends, 4 considers them as his friends and wants to join them, the three friends tell him that he should change
his look to show that he's worthy of being their friend and hang out with them.
4 goes to his friend (5) and tells him what the group of friends said, 5 says : Forget them they are not your friends if you had to change for them. or They are not your friends if you have to change them.
Best Answer
In your context, I would use present tense. Here's why.
Suppose Joe wants to be friends with a group, and the group says that if he wants to be their friend, he has to dye his hair pink. Joe goes to his friend Jill and mentions this. Jill might say "If you have to dye your hair pink to be friends with them, they are not your friends."
Now, suppose Joe showed up one day with pink hair. Jill asked him why, and he told her that he had to dye his hair to be friends with the group. Jill might then say "If you had to dye your hair pink to be friends with them, they are not your friends."
So, which tense to use has to do with whether Joe had to dye his hair (in the past, no longer has to), or has to dye his hair. Likewise, in your context, it's a question of whether the requirement is a present requirement or a past one.