Learn English – Phrases that express “afraid of wife” in English

A fight in which at best results in a Pyrrhic victory for the winner is described as a no-win situation or a lose-lose situation.

If what's important here is not the exact way it's written, but to have dialog that sounds more natural in this convoluted scenario, this is how I would write it:

A: This is not something to call [...] when I'm officially his wife.

B: But maybe he doesn't really consider you his wife yet.

Why use adverbs instead of adjectives? Because we skip the whole "is that really a term/thing?" problem and instead emphasize the perception of the characters. If you want to add more emphasis on the absurdity/weirdness of the scenario, you can even put the bolded words above in quotes.