Phrase Meaning – Understanding the Phrase ‘You’ll Feel Me on This’ in Conversations

In this context, you're almost right in that she's saying they don't care for them anymore. But it seems to me that what she's getting at is, they aren't even pretending to care, hence sending someone who is so obviously unqualified to do a job.

Brace yourself now, because things are about to get literal:

"You see, they're just pissing on us without even giving us the courtesy of calling it rain."

Imagine that you're walking down the street, minding your own business, when all of the sudden you find yourself sprinkled upon by some wet substance that smells like pee. After hustling out of the way (how gross!), you look up and see an old man peeing off of a balcony. He's totally oblivious to the fact that he just peed on you and finishes up, and then after a few moments looks down at you and realizes what he'd just done. He quickly looks around to see if there's something else that he could place the blame on, and eventually settles on blaming the weather. "Well now, it looks like we've got a bit of rain today..." he calls down, and then hurriedly rushes out of sight, realizing that he'd just done something totally wrong.

Although lying about it wasn't courteous at all (calling it so would be a grand example of sarcasm), let us contrast it with the following situation:

The next day, everything above happens again down a different street and with a different old man. But this time, after he finishes up, he looks down at you. You glare at him, expecting maybe an explanation or an apology. Instead, he locks eyes with you, grunts, and shakes a little bit more out before sitting down and reading his newspaper. You see, he's just pissing on you without even giving you the courtesy of calling it rain. In this context, hopefully the meaning is more clear.

A more common use of "give/show sb. the courtesy" would be:

You could have shown us the courtesy of letting us try to fix it before giving us a bad review on Yelp.

This could be a business's reply to a customer's negative review on yelp, if the business owner felt that it was an unfair review. A more graphic (and somewhat common usage) is as follows (apologies for vulgarity if it offends):

If you're going to fuck me, you could at least show me the courtesy of buying me dinner first.

(This is a play on words -- "to fuck" can mean both "to have sex with" and "to wrong someone/to mistreat someone.") This is something that a person who feels betrayed might say to their betrayer. E.G. disgruntled employee to boss, spouse A to spouse B upon being served with divorce papers without warning, etc... Again, that last one is pretty vulgar so I wouldn't use it in day-to-day speech, but it serves the purpose of showing how this phrase is used.

The phrase and all that is strictly informal, because it’s sloppy.

A person says and all that when they know that greater precision is called for but they don’t want to make the effort to find words to describe the category they’re talking about. It’s common and ordinary in everyday, informal speech.

It’s grammatically correct even without a word after that. That functions as a demonstrative pronoun, and all modifies it to mean that you’re regarding that as a whole somewhat carelessly, without regard to details and distinctions.

An informal phrase in a formal context

One reason you find and all that in books is because it occurs in dialogue. Books are normally written in formal English, but they can contain informal English in quotations. In indirect speech, appending and all that can suggest that someone is taking a sloppy, dismissive attitude toward a topic. (In informal contexts, the phrase doesn’t carry the connotation of dismissiveness nearly as often.)

Occasionally, deliberate informality in a formal context makes good rhetoric. For example, there is a textbook on vector calculus titled Div, Grad, Curl, and All That. The title, by using the phrase and all that, suggests that the book will cover the topic informally, in a tone and style that are easier to understand than the very formal approaches more commonly found in math textbooks.

The phrase and all that occasionally appears in book titles or other formal contexts to allude to a parody of English history, 1066 and All That by Sellar and Yeatman, published in 1930. Its premise is that it presents English history as you actually remember it from school. For humor, it mixes things up and reduces people and events to absurd simplicity. For example, the book incorrectly calls Alfred the Great “Alfred the Cake” because of a famous story about the real Alfred and some cakes. It rates nearly every king “a good king” or “a bad king”. The book is well-known enough that people sometimes write and all that to designate an irreverent or false history of another topic, either a deliberate one or the way people have misremembered it.

Formal equivalents

There are equivalent phrases in formal English that also avoid explicitly describing some category, leaving the reader to fill in the details: and the like, and such, and similar things. If you can replace things with a more-precise noun, that’s better in formal English. Another formal choice is et cetera, Latin for “and the rest”, usually abbreviated etc.

You could do a lot with this item, such as writing, drawing, and the like.

You can do a lot with this item, including writing, drawing, and the like.

With this item, you can do writing, drawing, and the like.

I removed your first like to avoid repeating the word.

In this particular example, it’s probably better to avoid the phrase entirely, since like, such as, and including all clearly indicate that the list is not exhaustive:

You can do a lot with this item, including writing and drawing.

That has the clarity and crispness of formal English.