I'm looking for a simile or idiom that means
two things might look alike but are in fact way too different.
Something like the opposite of the saying
A coin has two sides
There's two sides to a coin
something like
behind every mask lies a different person
Best Answer
A good idiom for your example of being angry with every member of a particular race, due to what one member of that race did is 'to tar everyone with the same brush', which means to think (incorrectly) that every member of a particular group has the same bad qualities shown by just one member of that group.
You might 'Tar everyone with the same brush' because you think that 'birds of a feather, flock together' - i.e. that people who decide to be a part of a group with other people with similar traits to themselves.