Here is the context:
Letter by Ryouji Uehara 1922: Born in Nagano Prefecture. 1943:
Entered Keio University. December 1943: Drafted into the Imperial Army
of Japan. May 1945: Died while diving into a US carrier near Okinawa
as a Kamikaze pilot. 22 years old at time of death."My thoughts
I am eternally honored to be selected as a member of the Special
Attack Squadron¹ of my great motherland Japan.To come to think of it, based on the power of logic of the theories I
learned through my life as a student–and maybe I am going to be
accused of holding liberal thoughts because of this–it is clear that
liberty is going to triumph in the end. Freedom, a part of human
nature, can never be destroyed. Even if it looks as if it is being
repressed, deep down inside, it will always fight back and in the end
will always win. I believe this is fundamentally true as Croce of
Italy² put it… It is an indisputable fact that authoritarian or totalitarian states, even if temporarily successful, will in the end most certainly be defeated. We
can witness this fact in the fate of the Axis Countries (Japan,
Germany and Italy) during the current world war. Fascism in Italy and
Nazism in Germany have already been defeated. Authoritarian states are
falling now one after another as if they were buildings with no
foundation. Reality is proving the truth that has repeatedly been
proven throughout history. The great nature of freedom will continue
to be proven forever and ever in such ways. I am so happy to know that
what I believed in was true, despite the horrific nature of these
events for my motherland. I believe that ideas are what drive all the
struggles of our days. By understanding these ideas, we can clearly
predict their outcomes.My dream of making my motherland, my beloved Japan, into a great
empire like the British Empire of the past has perished. If Japan had
been led by those who truly loved the country, Japan would not have
been in the state that it is today. To be a Japanese proudly walking
tall anywhere in the world–this was my dream.A friend of mine once said that a Kamikaze pilot is merely a part in a
machine. A device that controls the plane, nothing human, no feelings,
no sanity either. He is merely a molecule in a bunch of machines lured
into an enemy carrier like a magnet. If we were sane, well this is the
unthinkable, or as they³ put it, it is “suicide.” This is
something that can only be thought up in Japan–a country of
spiritualism. As a mere machine I have no rights to say, but I only
hope and ask the people of Japan that they make this motherland I love
into a great nation in the future.If I die in this sorry state of mind, maybe my death will be deemed
worthless. Therefore, as I said in the beginning, I am eternally
honored to be selected as a member of the Special Attack Squadron.Once on a plane, I am just a part in a machine. But when I’m not
there, I have feelings and emotions too. When my beloved girlfriend
died, my feelings died with her. When I think that death is only a
path to heaven where she will be waiting for me, I have no fear of it.
Tomorrow, I will be taking off on my mission. I know my thoughts are
extreme and should not be publicly stated. But these are my truly
honest feelings. Please forgive me for writing whatever came to my
mind with a total lack of organization. Tomorrow, one believer of
freedom will perish from the face of this earth. He will have a sad
look, but deep inside he will be content.I have said everything that I wanted to say. Please forgive me for
being so frank.¹ The so-called "Kamikaze"
² Italian Philosopher, 1866-1955
³ The enemy
Does it mean that he had humbled himself because he had a different opinion about war from that of his country/Air force (organization)?
Best Answer
This simply means that the author feels he has been writing whatever came to his mind without organizing the things that he wanted to write.
It says nothing about the organization he works for, the organization of his country's war effort, or anything else. It simply means: