Learn English – What to call a lady you are dating,esp. secretly, even though you are married

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What to call a lady you are dating,especially secretly, even though you are married?

I think the word mistress can be used but it sounds as if it is an outdated word,which we use it in my own language, and it connotes a situation as if the married guy is richer than the girl and kind of fends for her. But I am here talking about a regular relationship that people love each other without material expectations.

And is there a guy version of it as well?


An another related question is that what is the difference between paramour and girlfriend.

Can you introduce your girlfriend or boyfriend as a paramour like :

  • let me introduce my paramour …

Best Answer

British slang has lots of phrases for this, including 'fancy woman' and 'bit on the side', but I don't know if they'd be understood outside Britain.

'Paramour' is an archaic word. I wouldn't use it at all unless I was writing a fantasy novel. The same goes for 'concubine'.

'Mistress' doesn't have the connotations you describe to me, and is the word I would use if it wasn't already clear that the man was married. If it was, I would probably say 'girlfriend'.

A term that could be used for either gender is 'lover'.

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