Learn English – When is it acceptable to say ‘the son’

phrase-usage

I've heard the phrase being used in multiple occasions. But I'm not sure, when exactly it is OK to use this phrase.

It seems to be acceptable in a religious context. For example a priest talking to a member of his church. It is of course OK if you are actually speaking to your son.

But I've also heard it being used in different situations. For example a man talking to some child. Or a much elderly person talking to a younger one. This is what I'm really interested in. Is the phrase always acceptable in these situations?

Are there other situations where the phrase would be acceptable?

Best Answer

There are two cases for (my) son:

  1. Church context:
    One reason for celibacy in the catholic church is, that the priest should not be "distracted" by his own family, but consider his congregation as his family with him in a paternal role. Hence addressing him as "father XYZ". So it's perfectly acceptable to call his parishioners "my son" or "my daughter". This father/child addressing works in many different languages because it expresses an understanding of their relationship and tasks. The "my" is fine here.
  2. Seniority, often protective:
    Usually used without the "my", the address "son" expresses the - temporal, usually just for the moment - assumption of a father-like role (or mentor) by the speaker to the addressee. Think of "it takes a village to raise a child" (from a different origin, but same thought). It always carries an undertone of seniority, often reflected in the age difference. Normally, the speaker would use "son" in a well-meaning way, even when admonishing. This seems only to work for boys, though, I have never heard the phrase "daughter" in a similar context. "Kid" might perhaps work for girls.

EDIT:
just for the sake of completeness, as requested ^_^:

  1. Expressing the social or biological relationship:
    Father or mother talking to their son. But I'm quite sure that's not what OP was asking...
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