Earlier today, a student of mine was telling me a story about how his colleague, upon seeing him wearing an over-the-top jacket, was so surprised that she couldn't say anything.
Question: Which expression would you have said?
"My colleague was tongue-tied when she saw me wearing such an extravagant jacket"
or
"My colleague was speechless when she saw me wearing such an extravagant jacket"
I'd always thought that the two were synonyms, but Merriam Webster defines tongue-tied as "unable to speak because you are nervous or shy" and speechless as "unable to speak because of anger, surprise, etc.", so I'd probably be more inclined to use speechless in this situation.
However, Random House Kernerman Webster's College Dictionary has a broader definition of tongue-tied ("unable to speak, as from shyness, embarrassment, or surprise"), which seems to suggest that speechless and tongue-tied are synonyms.
Your thoughts? How would you use speechless and tongue-tied?
Best Answer
The two sentences have a slightly different denotation, and a significantly different connotation:
This indicates to me that your colleague wanted to say something, but couldn't. She was probably stammering over what she wanted to say, or couldn't get it out because she was nervous.
Because of the connection between tongue-tied and shyness or embarrassment, the phrase tongue-tied can also impart a romantic connotation. For example, "The boy saw the pretty girl, but couldn't compliment her because he was tongue tied."
This indicates to me that your colleague couldn't find the words to express what she wanted to say. Either her surprise over seeing you in the jacket (or her anger/jealousy/etc. in seeing you in such and extravagent jacket) simply "took" the words right out of her.
Often times, "speechless" has a negative connotation, because of its connection to anger, jealousy, etc. For example, "My mom was speechless when she heard me cuss out my grandmother." In such a sentence, "tongue-tied" wouldn't be appropriate.