Learn English – gender neutral phrase or expression to replace “old woman”

Tutto fumo niente arrosto would easily translate in the United States to All hat and no cattle, which makes reference to a wannabe cowboy (or rancher) who dresses the part but lacks any real personal experience. It means full of big talk but lacking action, power, or substance; pretentious.

This link has a way of describing the expression as being rather derogatory, but has that U.S. Southern sound of politeness (in the same way that "bless your heart" is used) where one might get away with saying it to a person's face without them realizing how badly they have been stung. You can read the coarse language interpretation yourself at the link, but the oafish target might simply respond "Uh, thanks, so you like my hat?"

Country singer Trace Adkins has a song based on the expression. The lyrics might metaphorically describe your host fairly well:

See that boy standing there by the dance floor 
He's lookin' like the Marlboro Man 
Starched shirt, starched jeans, big trophy buckle 
And an empty Copenhagen can 
He's talkin' cowboy this and cowboy that 
Well I'll bet one thing's for sure 
The only stampede that he's ever seen 
Is the clearance at the western store

All hat and no cattle, that boy just ain't real 
All boots and no saddle, don't know how to make a cowgirl feel 
Think I'm gonna tell him to pack up his act 
And go back where he came from 
'Cause all hat and no cattle ain't gonna get it done

He's just a smooth-talkin', long-tall slow-walkin' 
Drugstore-made-up dude 
So honey don't you fall for that fake Texas drawl 
He ain't right for you 
What you need's a man that ain't just a hat stand 
When you get him home 
Well, I don't look like much, but I can sure saddle up 
And ride with you all night long

All hat and no cattle, that boy just ain't real 
All boots and no saddle, don't know how to make a cowgirl feel 
Think I'm gonna tell him to pack up his act 
And go back where he came from 
'Cause all hat and no cattle ain't gonna get it done

All hat and no cattle ain't gonna get it done

(You can hear the song at this link.)

From a description of cowboy culture in wikipeidia:

Actual cowboys have derisive expressions for individuals who adopt cowboy mannerisms as a fashion pose without any actual understanding of the culture. For example, a "drugstore cowboy" means someone who wears the clothing but does not actually sit upon anything but the stool of the drugstore soda fountain—or, in modern times, a bar stool. Similarly, the phrase "all hat and no cattle" is used to describe someone (usually male) who boasts about himself, far in excess of any actual accomplishments. The word "dude" (or the now-archaic term "greenhorn") indicates an individual unfamiliar with cowboy culture, especially one who is trying to pretend otherwise.

You should know that modern Texans (and Western Americans in general to a lesser degree), take the cowboy culture seriously. - I would imagine that the wealthiest oil barons, ranchers, sport team owners, and techno-wizards of the region would treat the cowboy culture just as the British Royals treat their foxhunting and equestrian sports. The phrase "all hat and no cattle" would be an often used phrase among these elite. (If you have ever acquainted yourself with the television series "Dallas", you may understand this better.)

By the way, let me point out the word wannabe that I used in the description above. (Wannabe cowboy, meaning someone who wants to be a cowboy or rancher). "Wannabe" is a derogatory noun, one who aspires, often vainly, to emulate another's success or attain eminence in some area.

Stuffed shirt (n) a pompous, self-satisfied, and inflexible person.

Pretentious (adj) characterized by assumption of dignity or importance, especially when exaggerated or undeserved; making an exaggerated outward show; ostentatious.

Pompous (adj) characterized by an ostentatious display of dignity or importance

Prideful (adj) having a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

Supercilious (adj) displaying arrogant pride, scorn, or indifference; feeling or showing haughty disdain.

Vainglorious - characterized by or exhibiting excessive vanity; boastful.

Slurring his speech while drinking at dinner makes me think of bumptious - (adj) presumptuously, obtusely, and often noisily self-assertive; full of ones self.

Of course, adding "jerk" or, better yet, "ass" to any of these adjectives makes them more disdainful, as with pretentious jerk or pompous ass.

It's often been said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What one person finds trashy, slutty, tarty, cheap or tacky-looking in a woman; another sees a woman who oozes self-confidence, style, glamour and sex-appeal.

A woman who has put on a gaudy outfit could be described as being dressed to the nines; gussied, fancied or dolled up; sassy; and looking to have fun. If she is dressed provocatively (gaudy outfits), wears expensive cosmetics (garish makeup), and prefers costume jewelry (excessive jewelry) to that of gold and platinum, she is said to be dressed to kill.

She can be called a man-eater; a seductress; a flirt; a femme fatale or just a socialite

Socialite
She lives in a paradise of a mansion, usually in California, or a penthouse in Manhattan. You might find her hanging out at various social events, with a glass of champagne in her hand. Often she doesn't have a job, but sometimes she can be working in a high-end job, such as that of a celebrity publicist, which nets her a very high salary. (...) Can also be prone to Conspicuous Consumption, especially jewels, fancy dresses, and furs.

Alternatively, if she is young and has recently come into money she might be termed as

Nouveau Riche
The Nouveau Riche are characterized as rude and tasteless, and frequently contrasted with the refined manners of aristocratic Old Money characters. (...) If American, expect them to be Hollywood California people with bleach-blonde Valley Girl daughters, slovenly white trash who won either the lottery or a big-time settlement ... If black, expect a flashy character from a Glam Rap video. (...) Common accessories for this class include fur coats, gaudy jewelry, obnoxiously color-coordinated suits, and gold teeth.

Source: TV Tropes