I once was discussing a personal decision I had made with an acquaintance, and he expressed his disapproval of my decision with the phrase "It's not about you".
As far as I could understand, this phrase somehow means "You're acting selfishly and you don't have the right to do this". But I am having a hard time putting that into the words "it's not about you". On the surface the words are gibberish. Of course a decision I make for myself is "about me". Does the phrase mean "a personal decision that affects you should not concern you"? That also makes little sense.
Of particular concern is the issue that it's impossible to refute without understanding what it is trying to say. So the recipient of such a statement (i.e. me) has no choice but to accept this vague statement of disapproval without objection.
What is the correct way to understand how to parse this statement?
Best Answer
Your understanding is correct (about the general tone of the phrase).
The parsing is indeed a little harder, but boils down to something like “the narrative of this situation is not (just) about you”. Whether that means not about you at all or not just about you is vague.