Questions – How to Unambiguously Ask a Question with ‘OR’

Such a degree of politeness isn't normally required in such a question. When it is, anyone who answers it with your second alternative is being intolerably perverse, and you should dissociate yourself from such a person at the earliest opportunity.

A "rhetorical" question is a question which is asked to make a point rather than get a correct answer or remark. For example, if someone you knew failed their test without trying at all, you would say:

Are you happy with the grade you got?

The question does not require an answer, it was asked to make the student think about his responsibility as a learner.

"Is [Person] out today?"

When you really mean to ask why they're out, is not rhetorical, because you're asking a question without expecting a normal answer. That is different from asking a question which does not require an answer, hence it can be considered incorrect.

A rhetorical question must not be used for casual talk, inquiry or gathering information(Unless absolutely required). Rhetorical questions are better used while debating, in persuasive speeches, when you need to get your point forward to another person.

If you don't know what answer you want for your question, how is the other person supposed to understand what you want?