Learn English – Is the following sentence punctuated correctly

punctuation

I feel like something is wrong with the ", notably" part, but I can't explain why! Is the following sentence grammatically correct?

Employees give relatively low scores across a variety of characteristics, notably the quality of the Marketing department's decisions, compensation, and having sufficient people resources.

(My problem with grammar is that it's completely intuitive, and I often can't explain the rules behind why something is wrong.)

Best Answer

I agree with RegDwight's comment and disagree with Robusto's (and Martha's).

Here's the thing: the sentence seems to be using the word notably as something of a drop-in replacement for a word like particularly, which would serve to describe the listed items as being more relevant to the point being made than those not listed, without implying that the unlisted items are somehow not notable.

I don't think it's common for notably to be used in this way; and as a result of this attempted coercion of its usage, the sentence sounds awkward to me.

Notably sounds much more natural in a context where it is used to single out one or more items as being the only notable aspect(s) of something. For example:

The President's speech included a large number of recycled talking points without revealing much that audience members had not already heard. Notably he did finally promise to lower taxes by the end of the year.

Here's another way of looking at it: the difference between notably and most notably is essentially the same as the difference between good and best. If I say, "Of the three presentations, the first was good," this suggests that the second and third presentations were not good. On the other hand, if I say, "Of the three presentations, the first was best," there is no such implication. Switching between notably and most notably creates an analogous contrast.

With that in mind, I would almost certainly change notably to something like particularly, especially, or most notably, as RegDwight suggested. This way the sentence could be interpreted as emphasizing the listed points without conveying the idea that the characteristics not mentioned are unimportant.

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