The three rules of writing for the web, in order of priority, are:
- Keep it accessible.
- Keep it clear. Never force the reader to stop and think.
- Keep it short.
So the question is: did you have to stop and think about whether they hate you or spam? If you did, even for a nano-second, then you do is better, because it clears up the ambiguity (Rule 2). Otherwise, you is better because it's shorter (Rule 3).
As for grammaticality, as much as you and as much as you do are both acceptable.
The rule you cite about writing as much as she rather than as much as her is, to say the least, debatable. It's a holdover from the 18th century fashion for making formal writing sound more like Latin. It may be appropriate to follow this rule in some very formal texts, but not in a blog.
The affinity of the negation is to the verb not the the 'much'.
You can tell this is going on because you are more likely to see "That isn't much use to me" than to see "That is little use to me." And when you answer 'Not much', you are paraphrasing 'Yes, there is. But there is not much'. If there were none, you could not say 'not much', though none is surely within the opposite of 'much'.
Negation in English has odd binding qualities. For instance modal verbs like 'might' have two opposites: 'You might not' means it is possible you won't, but the real opposite of 'you might' would be that 'you must not', the impossibility that you will. For that reason, by convention, 'not' binds to the verb in a way that favors the more common negation. (Many a child has played this game with 'you may not', artificially mistaking it to imply that it is allowed that you might not, and not that it is forbidden that you might.)
'Is' borrows this disease. The common negation denies the truth of what is predicated rather than asserting its opposite. 'There is not much' does not necessarily imply 'There is little', as it would if the 'not' really went with the 'much'. But it allows for amounts that are middling, because it is only denying 'There is much' not asserting there is the opposite of 'much'.
Games and silly idioms arise as a result, including the feeling that 'not much' is a quantity in itself, greater than 'little', but less than 'much'.
Best Answer
‘She sees him not so much as her uncle as her friend’ is a perfectly normal English sentence. So, too, is ‘He is not so much her friend as her uncle’. If you want to insert he is between as and her uncle, you can, but it's not necessary.