Tutto fumo niente arrosto would easily translate in the United States to All hat and no cattle, which makes reference to a wannabe cowboy (or rancher) who dresses the part but lacks any real personal experience. It means full of big talk but lacking action, power, or substance; pretentious.
This link has a way of describing the expression as being rather derogatory, but has that U.S. Southern sound of politeness (in the same way that "bless your heart" is used) where one might get away with saying it to a person's face without them realizing how badly they have been stung. You can read the coarse language interpretation yourself at the link, but the oafish target might simply respond "Uh, thanks, so you like my hat?"
Country singer Trace Adkins has a song based on the expression. The lyrics might metaphorically describe your host fairly well:
See that boy standing there by the dance floor
He's lookin' like the Marlboro Man
Starched shirt, starched jeans, big trophy buckle
And an empty Copenhagen can
He's talkin' cowboy this and cowboy that
Well I'll bet one thing's for sure
The only stampede that he's ever seen
Is the clearance at the western store
All hat and no cattle, that boy just ain't real
All boots and no saddle, don't know how to make a cowgirl feel
Think I'm gonna tell him to pack up his act
And go back where he came from
'Cause all hat and no cattle ain't gonna get it done
He's just a smooth-talkin', long-tall slow-walkin'
Drugstore-made-up dude
So honey don't you fall for that fake Texas drawl
He ain't right for you
What you need's a man that ain't just a hat stand
When you get him home
Well, I don't look like much, but I can sure saddle up
And ride with you all night long
All hat and no cattle, that boy just ain't real
All boots and no saddle, don't know how to make a cowgirl feel
Think I'm gonna tell him to pack up his act
And go back where he came from
'Cause all hat and no cattle ain't gonna get it done
All hat and no cattle ain't gonna get it done
(You can hear the song at this link.)
From a description of cowboy culture in wikipeidia:
Actual cowboys have derisive expressions for individuals who adopt
cowboy mannerisms as a fashion pose without any actual understanding
of the culture. For example, a "drugstore cowboy" means someone who
wears the clothing but does not actually sit upon anything but the
stool of the drugstore soda fountain—or, in modern times, a bar stool.
Similarly, the phrase "all hat and no cattle" is used to describe
someone (usually male) who boasts about himself, far in excess of any
actual accomplishments. The word "dude" (or the now-archaic term
"greenhorn") indicates an individual unfamiliar with cowboy culture,
especially one who is trying to pretend otherwise.
You should know that modern Texans (and Western Americans in general to a lesser degree), take the cowboy culture seriously. - I would imagine that the wealthiest oil barons, ranchers, sport team owners, and techno-wizards of the region would treat the cowboy culture just as the British Royals treat their foxhunting and equestrian sports. The phrase "all hat and no cattle" would be an often used phrase among these elite. (If you have ever acquainted yourself with the television series "Dallas", you may understand this better.)
By the way, let me point out the word wannabe that I used in the description above. (Wannabe cowboy, meaning someone who wants to be a cowboy or rancher). "Wannabe" is a derogatory noun, one who aspires, often vainly, to emulate another's success or attain eminence in some area.
Stuffed shirt (n) a pompous, self-satisfied, and inflexible person.
Pretentious (adj) characterized by assumption of dignity or importance, especially when exaggerated or undeserved; making an exaggerated outward show; ostentatious.
Pompous (adj) characterized by an ostentatious display of dignity or importance
Prideful (adj) having a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.
Supercilious (adj) displaying arrogant pride, scorn, or indifference; feeling or showing haughty disdain.
Vainglorious - characterized by or exhibiting excessive vanity; boastful.
Slurring his speech while drinking at dinner makes me think of
bumptious - (adj) presumptuously, obtusely, and often noisily self-assertive; full of ones self.
Of course, adding "jerk" or, better yet, "ass" to any of these adjectives makes them more disdainful, as with pretentious jerk or pompous ass.
Best Answer
The opposite of witty could be witless but in the following example
It simply doesn't work. Moreover, witless suggests that the person lacks basic intelligence, someone who doesn't have a clue, and is dependent on another. Overall an ambiguous and very negative adjective which I would generally not recommend. On the other hand...
is actually quite witty IMHO, and works because of the preceding adjective. But as a stand alone, and for the reasons I explained above, I think witless is best avoided.
Normally this type of situation—a line that comes off as being unfunny (or unoriginal)—is said to fall flat.
A punchline falls flat when it fails to receive the expected reaction from the listener i.e. laughter.
Depending on the lack of positive response from an audience you could say a comedian was a complete fiasco and his act a disaster.
Of course, the most obvious solution is unwitty. It fits perfectly.
Wiktionary says: unwitty (comparative more unwitty, superlative most unwitty) (chiefly archaic) not witty; without wit; silly