Learn English – Simple present used to describe past events as a list of actions

I don't think "present simple" or "past simple" contradict the "adjective noun" ordering rule;

You can consider "present" and "past" (the two morphologically distinct tense forms of the English tense system) as qualifying grammatical aspects (progressive or perfect).
Hence "past simple" or "present continuous".

But it is more a usage than a strict grammatical rule here:
Present simple can also be referred as "Simple Present".

To rephrase the first part (about adjectives) a bit more clearly:

The English Grammatical aspect Wikipedia entry mentions:
"The English tense-aspect system has two tenses, present and past, which are morphologically distinct."

My point is that the tenses act as qualifier (like adjectives do) for the grammatical aspects (same wikipedia entry: aspects beings "simple", "progressive", "perfect", ...).

So if the tenses are considered as adjectives, they are rightly placed in front of the aspects they qualify.

We use for + duration in different tenses :

• Sarah and David talk for two hours daily. (Regular habit).

• Sarah and David have talked for two hours. (They have just completed their talking.)

• Sarah and David talked for two hours. (Their talking ended in the past.)

• Sarah and David were talking for two hours. (They were talking for two hours and it ended in the past.)

• Sarah and David had been talking for two hours before I came (or, when I came). (to say how long they had been talking up to a past moment.)

• Sarah and David will not talk for the next ten days. (They won't talk for a period in future.)

*** But to measure "DURATION UP TO THE PRESENT", we use a present perfect tense :

• Sarah and David have been talking for two hours. (It means their talking started in the past and is still going on.)