My girlfriend (we'll call her Mary) recently had a loss in her family, and many friends and family were posting comments to Mary's Facebook page expressing their condolences. However, Mary couldn't help but feel that a lot of those comments were insincere. Many of those who were leaving comments had Mary's personal cell phone number, so she found it somewhat peculiar that they would write on her Facebook page where everyone can see instead of texting her privately. It was Mary's granmda who passed away. A few days prior, one relative had left an angel figurine at her bedside as a gift. When the news broke out that Mary's granmda had passed, that same relative posted on Mary's Facebook page asking somewhat impudently if whether or not the angel figurine was in the same room when it happened. Mary couldn't help but feel as if that relative was trying to be boastful about the figurine.
Is there a single word that describes this behavior? A word that means expressing insincere kindness in order to draw attention to oneself? It's not flattery, though I feel it's similar to it.
I apologize if I'm not being clear, or if this question has been posted before.
Best Answer
I would say this woman is "grandstanding"
Which is described by the MW as the following:
3grandstand : to behave or speak in a way that is intended to impress people and to get public approval.
I would add a qualifier like "subtle grandstanding" or "grandstanding veiled as consolation".