Learn English – “Told” vs. “said to” somebody

connotationmeaningsimple-pastverbsword-choice

  • I told him that you hate him
  • I said to him that you hate him

I was choosing between these two options, and I can't help thinking about the subtle differences.

For example, "I told him your secret" refers to something real and factual. Whereas "I said to him the moon is made of cheese" can be a lie.

Is it true that when you use the word "told", people would assume it is true (a true event that happened)? And if you use the word "say", people are taking it literally as a sentence that you have said, which may or may not be true.

Or am I the only one who implies this?

Best Answer

The main difference is the use of objects. 'Told' can only be used as a transitive verb. 'Said' can be used either way, but is most commonly used in the intransitive form. Personally I've only seen the transitive form used with a direct quotation, as illustrated below.

I told him the moon was made of cheese.

I said the moon was made of cheese.

"The moon is made of cheese," he said to Mary.

I would never say, 'I said to him the moon was made of cheese.' It may be grammatically correct, but it's awkward.

The only other difference is that 'told' has an idiom:

I told you so!

You would never say: "I said so to you!" You might in some cases say: "I said so!" but it doesn't carry the same tone of rebuke.

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