Assume for a moment that an author does know how to use whom correctly. In an email (specifically), does using whom correctly make the author sound stuffy and formal, or would you say that in email, using who conversationally — potentially ungrammatically — is okay? For example:
- Hey, thanks, I chatted with the guy whom you said would be calling.
- Hey, thanks, I chatted with the guy who you said would be calling.
Best Answer
In my opinion, it depends entirely upon the intended audience.
For a business email, especially one in a 'formal' office (e.g. a government office, a Fortune 100 company, or any office that has people regularly appearing in suit jackets) it is, I think, entirely appropriate to use "whom."
For a personal email, the expectations are rather lower; it depends on your audience and your relationship with them--regardless of my ability, my SO and I have built a sort of private jargon that bears little resemblence to properly written English; "whom" does not often appear in our private correspondance.
For a business email in a less-than-formal setting (or an informal email between close business associates in a more formal setting) similar guidelines may apply.
As I work in an office more to the formal side of the continuum, I have been known to use 'whom' on occasion; nobody has complained yet.