Learn English – What does “circle the flame” mean

cinemaidiomsmetaphorsphrase-meaning

In the movie American Sniper, when Chris was holding his baby girl, Taya said this sentence "You can only circle the flames so long." to him.

What does it mean? I couldn't find any definition for this phrase anywhere. Can somebody please explain?

Full context:

Taya Kyle: [Taya cuddles their baby daughter] I'm making memories by
myself. I have no one to share them with.

Chris Kyle: Yeah, well, we don't got all our lives forever.

Taya Kyle: When does that start? Even when you're here, you're not
here. I see you, I feel you, but you're not here. [Chris gently takes
their daughter from her] I hate the Teams for it. I do. You're my
husband. You're the father of my children, but they're the ones that
pull you back.

Chris Kyle: Yeah, you see, they can't wait, but we can.

Taya Kyle: [clearly hurt by what he just said] If you think this war
isn't changing you, you're wrong. You can only circle the flames so
long. [a tear falls from her eye] It's true. [Chris puts their
daughter in the cradle and leaves the room without another word.]

Best Answer

It isn't a common idiom, and I haven't seen the film, but from the tiny bit of context you've provided I'm guessing that the intended meaning of "to circle" here was "to move in circles around", and that the whole statement was saying, by analogy, that there is a limit to how long one can avoid dealing with an issue.

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Learn English – What does it mean ‘to shoot oneself in the foot’

The Oxford Dictionary of English Idioms says

shoot yourself in the foot inadvertently make a situation worse for yourself; demonstrate gross incompetence

The Free Dictionary online has

Fig. to cause oneself difficulty; to be the author of one's own misfortune. I am a master at shooting myself in the foot. Again, he shot himself in the foot by saying too much to the press.

The Chambers Dictionary has this pithy definition

(inf) to harm one's own interests by ineptitude

The original meaning of either accidentally shooting yourself in the foot with a gun or deliberately avoiding military combat by self inflicting a severe wound seems to have been lost or fogotten.

Perhaps the idiom, to shoot oneself in the foot, has overtaken a much older saying which has slowly grown out of favour and is becoming obsolete.

Hoist with own petard Fig. to be harmed or disadvantaged by an action of one's own which was meant to harm someone else. Based on the literal meaning of hoist by your own petard; blown into the air by your own explosive device. (From a line in Shakespeare's Hamlet.)

There's letters seal'd: and my two schoolfellows,
Whom I will trust as I will adders fang'd,
They bear the mandate; they must sweep my way
And marshal me to knavery. Let it work;
For 'tis the sport to have the enginer
Hoist with his own petar'; and 't shall go hard
But I will delve one yard below their mines
And blow them at the moon: O, 'tis most sweet,
When in one line two crafts directly meet

The Free Dictionary gives the following examples of usage. It seems to me, at least, that the meaning is very similar to "shoot oneself in the foot".

She intended to murder her brother but was hoist with her own petard when she ate the poisoned food intended for him.

The vandals were hoist with their own petard when they tried to make an emergency call from the pay phone they had broken.

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