Learn English – Word or phrase describing situation where adequately addressing “X is not harmful” involves a self-destructive proof

expressionsidiom-requestsphrase-requestssingle-word-requests

There's a nice cartoon on the web that epitomises what I'm trying to describe:

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Another dimension of this behaviour, is that it is often used as part of a manipulation attempt, to get someone to do something they wouldn't normally do because of its potential harm:

  • A asks B to do potentially harmful act X (whether intentionally or out of ignorance).
  • B refuses, citing the potential risks from doing X
  • A claims X is patently not harmful and B's denial has more to do with ulterior motive Y
  • Since B cannot conclusively prove X is harmful until B has engaged in X and caused themselves harm, they are left with two equally bad choices:
    • either engage in X against your will, risking harm, to prove accusation Y is false, or
    • avoid X and give A the ability to claim accusation Y is true, opening B up to further manipulation.

Examples:

A: Here, have some heroin with me.
B: No man, heroin is addictive, I don't want to.
A: Heroin's not addictive, you're just saying that to judge me.
B proceeds to get addicted to heroin to prove friendship

A: Come to my party! C is coming too!
B: Sorry A, I can't! I have exams!
A: Dude, nobody's ever had to study for that exam! You just don't like C, don't you! That's the real reason you're not coming!
B skips party to study, A tells everyone at school B hates C

A: It's a Tuesday, so let's not use a condom. You can't get pregnant on a Tuesday.
B: What? Yes you can!
A: … omg, you don't trust me! You think I'm cheating and I have an STD don't you! That's why you refuse!
B proceeds to prove their trust, as well as the fact that you can in fact get pregnant on a Tuesday

etc etc.

Is there a good word or phrase that describes either A's behaviour, or the situation B finds themselves in?

Best Answer

That situation is a dilemma.

ODO:

dilemma NOUN

1 A situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives, especially equally undesirable ones.

‘His dilemma rests in the choice between telling a lie and losing his chance to marry the woman he loves.’
‘He was given two tough choices, a dilemma that he didn't wish to have.’

Also, catch-22 may work.

ODO:

catch-22 NOUN

A dilemma or difficult circumstance from which there is no escape because of mutually conflicting or dependent conditions.

‘There's always been a bit of a catch 22 about golf - you need to have a handicap to join a club, yet it's very difficult to get that handicap in a civilised way without spending hours on a rain sodden driving range in some murky British suburb.’

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