Kingdom of Loathing – How to Use the Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device

As discussed on kolwiki, the Hermit has an appetite for worthless items. This is not a metaphor, he actually wants worthless trinkets, worthless gee-gaws, and worthless knick-knacks.

To find these worthless items, buy chewing gum on a string from the general store and use it to fish junk items from a sewer grate. Some of these junk items are class starter items and thus "worthless" (but not in the way the Hermit will accept); hang on to this junk too!

The way the chewing gum on a string works is that it fishes up a random junk item that you don't have in your inventory yet, so selling the junk means that future chewing gums will get you more junk. The savvy adventurer will instead place their "worthless" (but still useful to the Hermit) items in their closet while they use chewing gum for more. After you hold all the junk items, you will only get more worthless items.

After you've used all your chewing gums, take the worthless items out of the closet and go visit the Hermit. And don't forget to buy your hermit permit from the general store!

If you manage to get your hands on some jam, you can spread it on your toast for extra yumminess. Now, you'll find several different kinds of jam in the Kingdom (Loathingers are famed for their jam delicacies after all), each with its own unique taste.

If you go snorkeling or SCUBA diving, you might be able to find jamfish jam. Spreading this on your toast and eating it will make you more musically inclined.

Elves, on the other hand, are connoisseurs of jam, though their tastes might differ quite a lot from yours. They make jam from space, cars and mistletoe.