How to intimidate Ulfberth War-Bear when Ulfberth War-Bear is dead outside the home

I just encountered that glitch on the xbox. I didn't do any Dark Brotherhood quests, so I don't know how that affects the game, but this is how I got around it.

Forget looking for the guard; if he hasn't come yet, he wont. Go to Hjerim and pick the lock (or in your case, open it with the key you got from Tova).

Once inside, you can't interact with anything at first. Instead it should say "inspect item". Go ahead and inspect everything in the house. You should find a couple of butcher journals, a bunch of "Beware the Butcher!" fliers, a Strange Amulet, and the Butcher's mess beyond the fake wardrobe.

Once you've inspected and picked up enough evidence, the quest should move onto the next step and proceed as normal. You can confront Viola (the woman making the fliers) or any of the guards with your evidence.

One more thing - if you picked up the Strange Amulet, it's marked as a quest item and can get stuck in your inventory. The only way of getting rid of it is by taking it to Calixto's Curiosities and selling it to Calixto. The amulet is not required to finish the quest so don't worry about selling it.

I'd try using the disable and then enable command on Aela the Huntress and each of the other unwanted followers. This should 'reset' them. Make sure you have a savegame before you try console commands, so you can revert to a previous save in case anything goes wrong or if it doesn't work.

Other console commands you might want to try: paycrimegold <0-1> <0-1> 267EA ('267EA' is Whiterun's faction ID - you could also try targeting each of the unwanted followers instead of a faction ID), recycleactor and resetAI. See if the issue persists after fast traveling.

paycrimegold pays your bounty and will help if the game or some NPCs consider you to have a bounty. recycleactor and resetAI are supposed to 'reset' an NPC.

More info on console commands here: http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Skyrim:Console_Commands

This similar question to yours, 'I have an imperial following me and I don't know how to shake him' also has a solution that you might want to try if you'd rather not use console commands or are playing on a console (shamelessly quoting it here):

I've had this problem on XBox, where Hadvar, the imperial who helps you (after trying to execute you) at the start of the game, would continuously follow me wherever I went after completing the civil war quest...

First, move very close to him [the unwanted follower], up to the point where you are touching him. Then, save your game. Make sure you don't override a saved game in case this doesn't work. Then shut off your console completely and reload the game you just saved...

If this doesn't work, I've heard people say that this can be fixed if you crouch when touching him before saving.

^{Originally posted by Nathan Sabruka at https://gaming.stackexchange.com/a/82827/4797}