How to make things instant build in CK2

According to a loading screen message, right click on the message, which will show you a window that lets you customize this exact kind of message, without looking for the right kind of message in the long list:

First and Foremost, you should stop playing as a count, it is no longer as straightforward as it used to be. By playing as a weak starting character, you are intentionally handicapping yourself for a game you were completely unprepared for. Try playing as a french duke to begin with. That means that you will have the power of your liege for defensive wars, and can declare war on people much weaker than you, ie rebellious counts and weaker dukes. You should start out only going to war with people who you outnumber by 50 percent, minimum, since you have to deal with seiging and defended bonuses.

You should try not to rely on warfare. Making the right marriage matches and waiting up to an hour for them to come to fruition is part of the game, (playing the long game is part of all paradox games really). In fact, Marriage is actually a much stronger mechanic for taking territory than combat. Not only that, but marriage is the most powerful mechanic in combat as well, because it allows you to call allies with vastly larger militaries than you can command early in the game. An alliance with the king of NearbyNation will let you call in thousands or tens of thousands of additional troops.

Still, the overall point is to stop playing as weak characters. Counts and the occasional 1 province duke in ireland are not advisable start locations for someone unfamiliar with paradox games, because like real life, paradox combat is very swingy. A 20 percent difference in starting numbers can be a 200 percent difference in casualties. That means when starting out, make sure you absolutely have a substantial numerical advantage against whoever you declare war on.

As for your example of losing a battle where you had superior numbers, you probably made a mistake with regards to combat morale, but its difficult to know without screenshots. Even if they had a vastly better general you should not lose a 1000 to 2500 fight, unless you had virtually no morale (probably from not paying the men).

Basic Concepts to Practice:

1. Revoking a county title as a Duke. This usually starts a war of rebellion that you can crush.

2. Invading an independent county as a Duke. This includes ones rebelling from their liege that have become independent temporarily

3. Marrying daughters into a powerful alliance (nearby, but not where you want to expand to)

4. Marrying sons to inherit land

5. Keeping your most important vassals and advisors (particularly the spymaster) happy.