The Bioware blog recently posted about this information, which I'll summarize here.
Mechanics
Earning reputation in Mass Effect 3 is a bit different from the first two games. Rather than earning only Paragon and Renegade points, you can also earn Neutral reputation, so there are 3 types of rep in ME3.
This means you can now mix being Paragon/Renegade without worrying about getting locked out of the more difficult Charm/Intimidate options. When you earn Paragon/Renegade rep, it'll show up as Blue/Red, whereas if you earn Neutral rep, it'll increase your reputation bar's size as a whole while retaining the same blue/red ratio.
Click through for the larger version.
Your total reputation (blue/red/neutral) will determine whether or not you'll be able to pass a Charm/Intimidate block. The lines on the bar are "checkpoints" which serve as gates for more difficult dialogue options. I marked them with the thin lines of red, in case it was difficult to see (this is not my Shep, this is the photo from the blog post).
As per usual, you get rep from completing missions and making dialogue choices. For missions with no Paragon/Renegade choice but still have a large impact, you will get Neutral rep.
Story Impact
In contrast to older Bioware games, you can never actually be the villain in ME3, though this should be rather clear from how they handled the first 2 games. No matter what, you will be fighting to save the galaxy. The manner in which you do it will be what differentiates a Paragon from a Renegade. Also, bullying people into giving you more money or discounts won't be the crux of what makes a Renegade decision in this game. Who needs credits if there's nowhere to spend them because civilized life has been destroyed?
Reputation gain will be based on when you have to make a decision in the game. Here are a few examples of what kind of rep you would get, taken from the blog:
- Confronted on the Citadel by a desperate refugee with a gun, you give her some credits and help her find a place to sleep. (Paragon)
- As a human colony falls to Reaper forces, you order down an orbital strike, brutally killing thousands of colonists to prevent the Reapers from turning them into husks. (Renegade)
- You land at a turian fuel depot taken by Reaper forces and clear it out, enabling allied forces to keep fighting. (General Reputation)
TL;DR
BioWare has finally made a single-player game that lets you make morally grey choices without nerfing yourself, gameplay-wise. Rejoice!
To switch between them, as well as other alternate appearances, unlocked from, for instance, the Collectors Edition, and future DLC, use the Cycle Appearance button that appears at the bottom of the squad selection screen, as seen here:
Here's a terrible quality screenshot of everyone but EDI.
Source: http://www.gamersbook.com/scene/news/mass-effect-3-from-ashes-dlc-alternate-appearances
And here's the alt appearance for EDI since it's not in that screenshot.
As for the bonuses provided, here's most of the list, I could use some help with Kaidan.
Garrus: +25% Weapon Damage
EDI: +25% Shields
Liara: +25% Power Recharge Speed
James: +25% Weapon Damage
Ashley: +25% Weapon Damage
Kaidan: +25% Shields
Tali: +25% Weapon Damage
Best Answer
Handling your concerns in order:
Liara will be suspicious of you if you go back to Thane, and relations between you will cool for a while, but eventually, events will conspire to end that relationship permanently. At that point, Liara will be open to taking you back.
Traynor also does count for the Paramour achievement however, so if you'd prefer to go that route, you'll need to cool it down with Liara fast. The game seems to lock you in to a romantic path fairly early on.