For two-handed, reach weapons that you can use with Weapon Finesse, your options are basically spiked chain, and the drow scorpion chain (read: a slashing version of the spiked chain) from Races of Eberron.
Races of the Wild has several weapons that can be used with Finesse without being light, but none have reach. The lynxpaw is a double weapon (i.e. can be used as a two-handed weapon), and the elven courtblade just is a two-handed weapon. The elven thinblade is a one-handed weapon à la the rapier, i.e. it imposes restrictions on two-handing it.
Other rapier-like weapons include the ribbonweave from Races of Eberron and the quickblade rapier from Complete Adventurer.
The last such weapon I can find is the dragonsplit, from Monster Manual IV. These are one-handed but count as light for TWF and Finesse, and also have 19-20/×4 criticals. I’m not sure if they can be two-handed but since you’re not going for dual wielding I wouldn’t bother with them.
The spiked chain (or scorpion chain if you want slashing for some reason, or are a drow who can get easier proficiency) is far-and-away your best bet.
Alternatively, the feycraft template from Dungeon Master’s Guide II can make any one-handed weapon compatible with Weapon Finesse. It can also make light weapons use Dexterity instead of Strength without Weapon Finesse, which is often a bigger deal. I don’t know any one-handed weapons with reach, but the kusari-gama from Dungeon Master’s Guide is a light weapon with continuous reach à la spiked chain.
I strongly disagree with Phill.Zit's reading here. Your own quote says it all:
the weapon’s bonuses apply to the roll.
It goes on to clarify ('therefore…') this would require a finesse weapon. But bows use Dex as their bonus despite not being finesse weapons, so should use Dex for these checks.
In fact, I'll go further and say you have to use Dex. Finesse weapons give you the choice, whereas bows do not.
And note the wording on the types of combat maneuvers it applies to. Normally with a bull-rush or grapple
you're [not] actually using a weapon
so you'd be forced to use Str. But again, here you are using a bow so must use Dex.
Best Answer
Yes, but only with disarm, sunder, and trip attempts.
Having the Weapon Finesse feat allows you to substitute your Dexterity modifier to your Strength modifier when determining the combat maneuver checks made with an applicable weapon (as stated in an answer about Weapon Finesse on the official FAQs). Remember to also apply the armor check penalty of your shield, if any.
If you like a more universal approach you could take the Agile Maneuvers feat (which substitutes your Dexterity modifier to your Strength modifier when computing your CMB with all maneuvers (from bull rush to trip).
Neither Weapon Finesse, nor Agile Maneuvers affect your CMD.