[RPG] Help, a player won’t stop hitting on every female NPC!


I wanted to play a female GMPC to guide the party through the story. It was also during this time that one of the characters had died also and been replaced by a new character. Within minutes of meeting my new female leader, who was a priestess whom I highlighted as being strictly asexual and strictly celibate. My player then insisted on throwing himself at this NPC despite being shut down about 12 times per game. It really slowed the game down and made it difficult to follow the (timed) quest. So after the fourth or fifth game of this, I snap and tell him OOC she isn't into the traditional form of dating. As she has said she is religious and doesn't want a romantic relationship and isn't comfortable with one. He then says he's fine with it. My NPC begrudgingly agrees and when she doesn't want to engage in acts of a carnal nature he gets pissy, and after 2 attempts the NPC breaks up with him.

The next game the player runs up to the first female NPC he can find and won't leave her alone when we are about to do a massive battle in game, even fleeing the battle to be with the woman he had only just had a few minutes of conversation with, resulting in another player-character dying as he was our only healer in the group in a battle against a balor.

As stated before its not even his blind quest for tail that's the issue. I keep realism in my games and have a chart that monitors their opinions of the people talking to them. I want my players to actually woo a person before a courtship starts. When he approaches a woman he is expecting them to be madly in love with him after one chat, and offering themselves on a plate.

It's not that sex and relationships are inappropriate in this game, since realistic relationships of all kind are OK with us. The other PCs date always at a realistic pace, when they do.

I realise he likes to be in a relationship and have someone at home for his character and I'm fine with relationships and the like, but how can I handle his obsessive nature and self righteousness? Any advice?

Best Answer

This sounds like player behavior

I'm usually the one to point out way to address an issue in game. Not this time. I don't think this is a play style thing. From your description it sounds like this guy is having a little too much fun getting a rise out of you.

The player's behavior is really a bit out of line. Constantly hitting on every NPC of course requires you to play their part. (And that's been more fun for him than for you.) He may be hitting on you, or just trying to provoke a response. Either way it's not OK. You've made it clear this is no fun for you, and he hasn't changed his behavior.

The Details

Hitting on the celibate priestess, well that's just a little "challenge." There's no problem with someone wanting an in-game girlfriend who's a powerful figure like a chief priestess or a powerful adversary. Abandoning his party and getting a PC killed, that's not cool, and the other party members won't be real keen on that.

But that's all in-game stuff. And what you describe goes a little beyond that.


It all comes down to respect. If a player is disrespecting you (or anyone at your table) then that is cause to eject him from your game.

Fantasy vs. Realism

Since answering, the question has been updated to specify that "realistic relationships of all kind are OK." But while you might be able to encourage a person to be more sensitive and patient in a their courting efforts, it probably isn't realistic to expect them to fantasize what you want them to.

If the player would like to role-play like a chick magnet from a Heavy Metal comic, it's not likely you'll convince him it would be more fun if in-game courtship were more like "real life."

Going forward

If you're not ready to disinvite him yet, let the table know that the game is going Rated PG. (I'm guessing most of your players will be happy with this.) Don't role-play the romance with the fellow. You could allow the dice decide whether he impresses a female, and describe her reaction matter-of-factly, all in the third person, as boring as possible.

If he doesn't simmer down, you need to ask yourself if you are comfortable with the behavior. If you aren't, then he's got to go.