[RPG] How to deal with aggressive/disrespectful criticism

group-dynamicsproblem-gmproblem-players

This problem hit me as both a Storyteller and as player. I joined a "Survival Horror" game of Vampire: the Masquerade; a minor encounter spiraled out of control in the second session. The GM gave us a laundry list of things we'd done wrong (he recently posted it on a meetup site so we'd remember) and berated us for not understanding the unforgiving nature of his game. Some of his criticisms were valid, but he didn't take into account the effect his way of running it contributed and showed little sympathy for people still trying to figure out how he ran things.

This guy also plays in a Vampire: the Requiem game I've been running for a few weeks. After Thursday's game we got to talking, and he basically tore into me based on the way I was running my game (I'm new to the system myself), saying the intrigue was childish, the characters were clumsy and he felt his character should be offered more incentives (read: in-game benefits). He claimed this was "what his character would think", which struck me as the RPG equivalent of "I'm not racist, but…" Again, I can accept the validity of some of his criticisms, but he made no effort to be anything other than condescending, dismissive and rude.

I want to be open to improvement, but I also expect to be treated with basic civility. I've already cancelled my own game for this week (planning to "reformat it") and messaged him, and I doubt I'll be welcome at his game. Suggestions?

Best Answer

Assuming you told him your thoughts...

You've Already Done It

And the "it" is to not play with this person anymore

You've talked to them. You agree on some points and not others. It sounds like this person's play style doesn't match yours. That's fine, happens to everyone. I consider myself pretty flexible when it comes to play styles and there's still people who I can't play with. They aren't bad people, the just expect things I don't.

Quit playing with this person.

If you haven't talked with them fully..

Talk With Them Fully

Lay bare your feelings on the matter. If both of your aren't willing to work together to come to a happy medium then you need to say goodbye. You do what you should do an any social situation where there is discord.

Now, my final point...

Why did you cancel your game?

It sounds like it's an issue with a single person, not the entire group. Do group or friendship dynamics keep you from running your game? Are you jaded because of the experience? If you were having fun without them, just send their character to the void and keep on going.