[RPG] How to deal with an experienced player who doesn’t interact well with the group

There are several ways to approach a drunk and disorderly player.

1. Standard drunk person handling techniques. Not really on topic for this site; Google it. Wheedle them, redirect them, you know, like you'd do with a kid. Go with it. "Roll the die, you get to take a shot!" Probably best if you're all drinking and just farting around. Some RPGs are called "beer-and-pretzels" games for a reason. I assume from the way you asked the question though that it's a "serious" game.

2. Call the game for the evening. "I think we're all tired. Let's wrap up and pick up here next time." Might be best. My (now ex-) wife would sometimes game with us, and would usually get smashed when she did, and would for some reason always haul off and hit me in the process. It was best to just stop before it got to that point. Also see the first additional tip below.

3. Bull on through. The player refusing to act translates to the character not acting, and whatever happens next is the result that unfolds in the game world. "You stand there paralyzed with indecision and, oh, the wagon hits you!" (or whatever it was that was going on). More appropriate for the ornery non-drunk, but can work here too if you're all Game Uber Alles.

Beyond those tactical at-the-table tips, you might consider:

1. Set some drinking ground rules next time. My current gaming group drinks sometimes, and can get loud or a bit extra jolly as a result, but everyone understands that there's a courteous limit. Expectations are important - if you invite people over to watch a football game at your house, some might expect no drinking, various people will have different reasonable expectations - some might expect light drinking, and some might expect that sloppy drunk is expected. If the group hasn't clarified, then you can't really blame deviation from what the norm is in your mind.

2. Double-check yourself. Now in this case there's hints that the choice the player was being faced with might be inappropriate in other contexts. (From deleted comments and edits: "It was related to a liaison of sorts. A pass would lead to unwanted physical attention, and a fail would mean failure at an important session goal.") Was it really her drunkenness preventing her from going on, or was she maybe just not communicating well being offended by the game itself? There's a line between "drunk and disorderly" and "impaired and having people test your boundaries" you may have crossed here.

The rest of the group didn't step in, which may mean that either a) they're standard passive-aggressive RPG players afraid of confrontation or b) they thought that her level of drunkenness was fine and you were just being overzealous about the game over the group experience or c) they also thought, regardless of drink being involved, that you were being inappropriate. If you had one or two, you might think you weren't being drunk and obnoxious, but maybe you were. Anyway, talk to the group and figure out not all what happened that last time, but what you all want to happen next time!

Roles Can Be A Bummer

Making actions/options not available to people can force people out of the magic circle pretty quickly. Sure, roles can help people feel special, but it can go overboard. This does not mean that the rogue shouldn't be stealthy, or that the cleric can't be tank-y, but not being able to use or do something because of an arbitrary class restriction breaks the circle, which means less fun for everyone.

Sometimes, multiple people actually can do the same thing, and that should happen sometimes. If every task you throw at the player characters cannot be accomplished except for 1 person's specialization, it may be a harder adventure than these players (as a group) are fit for. Not that there can't be a situation where you need a particular player to do a something, but that it shouldn't happen all the time.

Perhaps It is a Matter of Perception

So maybe this player is simply just does not imagine the same thing you do. You can try to reinforce what you envision by describing what is going on. Is she/he making informed choices? Does she/he realize what the gravity of the situation, or how her/his character has certain strengths?

Does this player realize the cleric is running around in thick armor, while that player's character is running around in normal clothes? For example, if I think the cleric is running around in normal clothes, and goes into combat and comes out unscathed, I could run in my normal clothes, and also come out unscathed.

If this is the problem, you simply need to be more descriptive! Describe how the cleric is wearing armor, or how the rogue is especially cat-like, and how this player's character is not.

For Games Which Depend On Roles

It may be time to have your other players step up. Have the cleric yell at the other character to stay back, or that the cleric "has this." Alternatively, the cleric may ask "PEASE SUMMON THIS TO HELP ME!" as he charges in.

If the rogue attempts to sneak around, the rogue can give specific instructions; "Can you make a distraction over there?" "Wait here, and if I'm not back in 15 minutes, go get the others to rescue me." Or even: "this looks super dangerous. I don't think you'll make it. We don't want to get ourselves killed, yeah?"

In short, give him tasks, or have the other players give him tasks to help with things. Talking is a free action in combat; use it. This is especially good for players who may be experiencing some mental handicap; it gives them something concrete to act on. It allows them to contribute (which feels great and is fun) without going through negative experiences.

Finally, a player or the DM can specifically highlight when certain actions will require a specific specialization, and who has that training. If it becomes obvious that a task is dangerous and requires training, then most people leave it to the person with the training. The DM can further forbid people without specialization from trying, stating that it's obviously too hard. This is more "hand-holdy" than some people like it, but sometimes people just need their hands held.

Talk About It

Talk with the player about the roles. What is her/his character good at? What should she/he focus on? These other characters have something special about them, what is she/he special at?

Talk about how their character is so good at magic/whatever else, and how they should try to make their magic/whatever else be the solution for the current situation. (After all, we're solving these situations using our strengths, use your strengths to help solve it!)

Tough Love

Finally, you may have to resort to letting the consequences of this player's action happen. Let the events, despite other character's best efforts, happen. Talk about how that character was not focusing on what they were good at, or how their play-style does not match up well with the class they chose. Make a new character that does okay at everything, such as most games' version of a "bard." Note: this does not mean make a character who is rule-breaking and superior to all the others, but one that stands a decent chance at performing many things, and isn't a large risk to the success of most tasks.