[RPG] How to deal with different levels of initiative and propensity to overtalk in a large group

dnd-5egroup-dynamicsplayer-agencyproblem-players

I recently started playing with a large group of about 7-8 people. I noticed that, in our group, a couple of the people are very active: whenever there is a chance for the group to do things, it only takes them a second or two to come up with an action for their character and narrate it. On top of that, they are comfortable verbally jostling, interrupting, jumping in just after someone else is finished, and participating in overtalk, in order to take space for themselves in the conversation.

This would be fine with me–I can fight for conversational space just fine, and don't mind so much when people do it to me–but a couple of the other players in the group don't seem as willing to talk over people or to jump in with something as soon as the last person is done talking, and when they do talk it is at a much lower volume. For all I know they have as many great ideas bubbling around in their heads as the loud players, and are just waiting for their turn, but since they don't loudly wade into the verbal fray, they don't get to do anything.

In combat, there's the initiative/turn-taking system that can solve this problem to some extent: even the quietest player at the table is guaranteed a turn and the DM's attention. But out of combat, a couple of players who are always the first to speak up can go through several whole scenes without the quieter players' characters doing anything.

I'm not sure if it has gotten to the point where any of the quieter players are bothered about it to the point where they are willing to speak up about it, but I'd like to prevent that from happening, or at the very least avoid being part of the problem.

As a player, how do I balance my desire to speak with the needs of our group's quieter players to have room for them in the conversation? If I speak up I'm not giving the quieter players a chance to speak, but if I stay quiet, the other loud players will talk. As not one of the players who is getting talked over, is it my place to broach this with the DM? Or should I talk to the players I see as being talked over first? Or to the other louder players?

As a group, what methods can we use ensure that even our shyer/quieter/more reserved players have space to play, outside of combat?

Best Answer

Be the voice for the voiceless

One of the lessons learned from years of "anti-harassment" training videos at work is that there are people that want to speak, but don't want to talk over other people (like me) and so rarely speak. It's also these people that when they do speak they have great contributions.

But the first thing you should do is talk to the soft voices outside of the game and see if they want help. Some players are happy just working from the sidelines. During combat they get their turn to shine and are done.

Assuming these players want to be heard more often, one method is, since you are capable of being one of the loud voices, to actively engage the softer voices.

"Hey Merlin, didn't you have a background in history? Maybe you can tell us something about this relic."

"I think we're going about this all wrong. Thundar, you've been good with puzzles in the past; can you think of another way to open this door?

"Hold on! We've got too many chefs cooking up ideas. Grendal, do understand any of it?

If you use your voice to call on another, it may stop others from just shouting their opinion into the wild. You are making sure someone else has the floor, even if it's just for an audience of one; you.

If that still doesn't work, then reiterate their message.

"You're right! Hey everyone, Merriwether had a great idea! They know how to sneak past the guards. Merriwether, tell everyone your plan."

If this still doesn't help, you'll likely have to involve the DM. Away from the table, talk to the DM and see if they are willing to control the conversations.

While a bit too formal for my tastes, I knew one DM that had an "out of combat" initiative. Basically at the start of each session, everyone rolled initiative (straight d20 as it's for the player, not the character). That would be the order the DM asked "What would you like to do?"

This way, everyone got a turn, and you weren't always right before or right after the same people. For intense conversations it would loop around to the beginning until the party had a unanimous decision.

It really boils down to what the soft players want.