[RPG] How to handle a disruptive player with thin skin

dnd-3.5egm-techniquesnew-gmproblem-players

My problem is that I have a player who

  1. Takes everything that happens to his character personally and then throws tantrums, and
  2. Metagames consistently. We run a very homebrew game, all players know this; things will happen in the campaign and he'll make snarky remarks how this is impossible because x and y should be happening instead.

I'm just really not sure how to handle the situations.

For example, the party was just saved at sea by an infamous pirate leader in the area, and after being invited into the crew, his character, a 15th level pirate type, decides to challenge the captain to a duel for leadership. The captain was already made, and was a 20th level character. Naturally, the captain won.
He then goes off to say that it's unfair and he's broken etc etc etc.

As for a metagaming example, the world is currently being attacked by a big bad enemy who happens to be a minor God. While the main enemy's army is attacking a city they're fleeing, he says that this guy is extremely involved in the world for a god and it's kind of ridiculous that no other gods have jumped into the fray and swatted him.

I have talked to him about it before. He seems understanding until a situation occurs where it basically sets it off. I've played other games with him, and he generally seems much kinder to other DMs, doesn't have the remarks or throws tantrums to them. (Also, he's my older brother, so I don't know if it's just a weird "my brother is beating me" thing going on or what.)

He's an experienced player, and I'm the only other person who basically plays at his level, so most other games don't really challenge his characters, whereas I do make my game more difficult because I know he and the other players have the skill capability to handle these situations that do occur.

Now these remarks really have no change in the game, it's just tremendously annoying to hear over and over.

Best Answer

Pre-warning - I have little experience as a DM dealing with difficult players, but I'm getting pretty used to dealing with difficult tables in general.

A couple of things we found really handy for our horde of uncooperative players:

Talk it out / Remind him

You said in the comments that:

I have talked to him about it before. He seems understanding until a situation occurs where it basically sets it off

So he may just need a gentle, at table reminder about the discussion you've had. A simple prod in the right direction might be all he needs to cool his head. DnD can get pretty intense at times, and it could just simply slip his mind as he gets into it.
Players really getting into your campaign is what you want as a DM, as long as they're getting into in good spirit.

Is the table okay with this behavior?

Is it just you that's bothered by this? How your table reacts to his behavior could also dictate how you handle it.

During our romps with difficult players, one player refused to cooperate with the DM to the point we almost had to kick him out. But the DM pulled me aside, and asked me to respond to every that player said as in character.

If your brother is heavily into role playing, responding in-kind and keeping it to your characters may help stem the OOC poor behavior.

I.E - If he's complaining about the Gods not lending a hand, a NPC (or other player) could take that at face value. "[Gods Name Here] wouldn't care about a single [town/city/country/]! Our lifes are nothing compared to the grand scheme of things. The immortal plane is beyond our understanding..."

If all else fails, are you guys that right group for him?

You also said that:

He generally seems much kinder to other dms, doesn't have the remarks or throws tantrums to them. (He also is my older brother)

So it could very much be as simple as -Younger brother has to do it my way rawr- or that the tables play-style and campaign just doesn't fit him.

Saying that you play to his level, but then having a level 15 player challenge a lv 20 NPC, says to me that maybe he doesn't want that much of a challenge.

He could be looking for something a bit more cruisy, or maybe he just really really wanted to play pirate captain.

But either way, if you can't find a middle ground with him, maybe have another look to see if he matches your table. It could be as simple as a few small tweaks to the campaign to keep everyone happy.