I'm currently playing at a table using Discord with some online and IRL friends, once a week. All's good in the world, but recently, another friend asked me to join, and after checking with our GM, he's been added to the table. Since then, some of his actions have been chipping away my enjoyment.
His role-play consists of rushing to be the first to talk in some scenes, only to point out the obvious and asking the group to do something about it.
Found some wounded NPCs?
"I turn to the group and say Someone with healing abilities should heal that person".
Interrogating a lying NPCs?
"I turn to the group and say One of us who can force a foe to tell the truth should do so".
A strong, sturdy door stopping our exploration?
"I look at the door, turn to the group and say this door looks very sturdy, someone with great strength should try to open it".
Need to translate a book of spells?
"I ask the group Wasn't there someone in our group that could translate foreign languages?".
Debating some storyline plot?
"I tell the group Could someone remember exactly what the dragon told us?".
All the while deliberately knowing someone in our party could, in fact, do the thing that he asked. And I should add that he's deadly serious: he's not playing an annoying character, it's just his way of role-playing.
I found it rude, while knowing our capacities, to never address our characters directly, to always ask around and wait for the correct player to act up. So much that after a dozen sessions I directly contacted him after a session to ask politely why was he acting like that.
He responded aggressively, saying that it was a recurring memory problem of his, that he failed to see why it was such a problem to me and having this discussion was as useless as tiresome. I told him that while it can be tiresome, it shouldn't be useless as not talking it out could lead to me leaving the party, as his behavior was starting to take a toll on my enjoyment of our games. He understood my point and promised to stop doing so.
The very next session, he did it again, several times, like we never even talked about it.
It's irritating me so much that I stopped interacting with him during our sessions, and now I'm seriously thinking about quitting the party to avoid playing with that friend.
I'm the one that intercede with the GM to include him in our group when he asked to join, saying that he missed playing role-playing games together. But now I feel like he's completely impervious to dialog, and that he missed more the game than playing together.
How can I salvage this? Should I try again to discuss this or should I explain in private to the GM why I can no longer enjoy his work and leave?
Best Answer
Good On You
Seriously, you're trying to be a good friend and you are checking your assumptions. That is commendable behavior and I am commending you for it. Good job.
Your Issues
There are a few things going on, and you need to decide why those things are bothering you. Depending upon your answers (which are subjective and personal, thus beyond the ability of anyone else to dictate), you will need to choose an appropriate behavior.
The New Player
The new guy is engaged in the following described behaviors. None of these are inherently bad or problematic, however the combined effect can be problematic, especially in context (which you have omitted).
Yourself
You need to decide why those behaviors bother you. The answers will dictate the correct action by you. Broadly, your answers will fall into the following categories, which I follow with my suggested behaviors.
Good luck!