We have been playing a game for a while now, and while the game itself is quite enjoyable, the only problem is that the DM seems to be aiming to kill us. Sort of.
For example, there have been three situations where a player has been caught in a fight that there was no way they could manage:
- One PC (a Rogue with incredibly low AC and HP) was targeted by an enemy
forcing everyone to leave the room, and locking them out, then
grappling the PC and slowly draining the life from him (dealing HP
and CON damage). - Another PC was forcibly injected with Bugbear blood (being an elf, started to turn)*, and the time between being infected and finding a cure effectively turned him into one. It got to the point where the player was still in control of the character, but he was attempting to kill the rest of the party. We did finally manage to restrain him and force the cure on him.
- A third PC, while having decided to go ahead of the party, was attacked by a mimic. This player had worse AC and HP than the Rogue, and was quickly downed. In the same situation, my character nearly fell to his death (though I believe that was due to a misunderstanding, rather than the intent of the DM himself).
We all agreed (while not directly to the DM) that the third situation was incredibly harsh. There was no way the player could deal with that situation on his own, and it would have been better if he had removed the monster completely, or moved it to a situation where more players could have been involved.
The DM is not inexperienced (he has been DMing for almost 30 years), so we believe that this is his aim. 90% of the time, even if we get good rolls, we all end up a lot more worse for wear, and the other 10%, one or more of us is incapacitated, and needs to be revived. It's starting to have an effect on the group.
How can we talk to the DM, and what might we suggest in hopes of changing his attitude toward “killing” player characters?
*Turns out this is plot device devised by our DM alone, I don't think there's anything in the rules about this.
Best Answer
Unfortunately, all the group behaviours you've identified are either death-seeky or problematic. Use these interactions as teachable moments instead of problems which can simply be wished away. In all cases, a quiet discussion over a hot beverage of your choice After game time may allow your DM to impart his wisdom and/or to express your concerns with the chosen style and edition of game.
First: scouting ahead is dangerous. Make sure you know how to get away, make sure you're far enough away to get away, and make sure you've written a will. Not only have you split the party, but one bad roll can spell your doom. You may want to investigate systems with the "let it ride" rule that specifically address this sort of "roll many times and never fail" mechanic, or simply deemphasise stealth based scouting.
Second: Talking about your GM behind his back will simply encourage groupthink and a more toxic atmosphere as now the group is looking for confirmatory evidence that your DM is a horrible no-good person out to kill you.
Third: the level of damage you're describing is either normal or merciful for old style dungeon crawls. Dungeons are terrible, scary, places. If you evidence a lack of preparation, be prepared for death or worse.
Have no expectation of encountering "fair" fights in this campaign. Instead, anticipate your campaign as combat-as-war and be prepared. It may be worth asking the DM for lessons in how he expects parties to be prepared, but the style of game you've described has a long and time-honoured tradition that 5th ed absolutely appeals to. It may be worth chatting with your DM over coffee for a debrief on what went wrong in these situations, and potentially ask for him to be more merciful.
You may also gain some utility out of not immediately engaging in combat. Look to see if an encounter can be avoided in its entireity, if it can result in a social discussion, if it can result in some sort of transaction, and only then escalate to violence.