[RPG] How to talk about reducing the numbers of our current group

group-dynamicspathfinder-1e

We have a Pathfinder group that consists of 11 people, and has been like that for a few years now. In the beginning we had a great time with such a large group and didn't mind the number, but something in the dynamics has shifted over the last campaign.

Four of them almost never show up (which we can excuse because they never show up due to work/school), but when they do they barely pay attention and end up leaving early anyways, which disrupts the flow of the game. Two of them just… don't seem to be into it anymore, and their non-enthusiasm tends to ruin the mood of everyone else. Plus a ton of personal problems most of the party has with one of them in particular that getting into in detail would take far too long.

The DM wants to reduce the group down to those that show up regularly and actually want to participate in the storyline, which is about five people; the average D&D party size. One of the people who doesn't show up due to work is alright with this due to his becoming disenchanted with roleplaying in general, but we're not sure about the others in the group.

So what I'm trying to figure out is how to politely tell the rest of them that we want to reduce our group? Is it even possible to be polite in this kind of situation?

Best Answer

Yes, it's always possible to be polite, and what you are running into isn't uncommon. Peoples' lives change.

Two Things to Do, One (Optional) Thing to Try

  1. Address friendship first.

    From your problem statement, these are your friends. This consideration trumps games. As friends, you can do a lot of things together that aren't D&D. Keep doing those things together.

    For those who you think play now and again out of a sense of obligation:

    • First ask them if you have perceived that correctly, (if yes)
    • Then let them know that it's not worth forcing themselves to "have fun" if it isn't fun.
  2. Flexible roles

    For D&D nights, invite those who can only occasionally play to be that evenings' NPC role player(s). It's a varietal challenge that some will like and others not. Keep your core group happy if you want to keep the game going. With each person not in your "core group" the polite thing is to have a friend-to-friend conversation. Focus on the positive of how much you still enjoy the game, and how much the core group still enjoys the game.

    Your message for those who have lost interest is that you are still into the game, and if the game doesn't do it for them anymore, cool: go back to point 1 on friendship being important.

  3. An Option Depending on Space Available

    If game night is a big social occasion, is there enough room for two tables?
    If not, then this won't work.
    If yes, set up two tables.

    • One with the D&D game, and one with something else.
    • That way friends are still congregating, but folks don't feel guilted into doing something when they'd rather do something else.

As to high drama individual ... that is beyond game advice. That's interpersonal relationships, and best wishes.