Recently, my group started a game of Starfinder that is run by my S.O. Part of the reason my S.O. wanted to run the game was so that I could have a chance to play as a player since I've been DMing over the last 7 years. In our game, there is an envoy, a solarian, an operative, a mechanic, and a soldier. Then there's me, playing a technomancer.
In the beginning, things seemed to be okay. But, I quickly began to feel like my PC was redundant. The mechanic guy is playing to be an all around computer builder and hacker, which I had planned for my PC to be a hacker since that is part of the class description. When I mentioned this, I was told that I'm the party's only member trained in mysticism. But, I checked and the operative has it as well and is much better at it thanks to several boosts the PC gets to all skills. All I got is some spells that are easily duplicated by in-game tech or spell chips any one can use. I feel useless and when I told the group I didn't feel like my character had anything to contribute because all the bases were covered by other players, they pooh-poohed me in a very condescending fashion.
I decided to stick it out, but, because my PC had an altercation with an NPC everyone IC and OOC started constantly berating me and my pc for being a hot head.
It escalated when I actually had my PC be angry at another PC (B) for putting personal gratification above the safety of the group. (B has his character being a jerk since the game started and admitted he's doing it on purpose to have his PC supposedly warm up to the group.)
I was surprised when everyone else turned on me and said I was the one being a problem and the beratement got even worse. We play on a Discord server and I was assigned the role of hot head. Which I didn't appreciate and stated so. My PC has only gotten angry three times in the game. The two times listed above and once when two players abandoned another player's PC at the beginning of the game to potentially face off against 6 enemies alone while they went to a bar to try to pick up chicks. (This was at the very beginning of our game; B was the one of the PCs that abandoned the other player.)
I kind of want to quit.
I like my character and feel that he had good reason to get angry the three times that he did. I don't feel like B or any of others actually care about the group or ensuring that everyone is having fun but themselves. I've DMed for these guys, but in this game they are being completely different from how they behave when I DM for them.
My S.O. is aware of these issues, but has told me I'm the problem as well. Am I being 'the guy'? IDK.
I know that I feel like I should just quit, but I don't know how to tell my S.O. without hurting him. What do I do? Is there any way to salvage this?
If not, how do I tell him I quit without hurting his feelings?
Best Answer
You need a heart-to-heart with your SO/DM before the next session
And you tell them what you just told us, a host of strangers on the internet.
Your problems have little to do with the game, and most likely need to be solved OOC with your SO. Before you play again, you need to share with your SO that you are at your wit's end and have gone on-line to ask strangers for help in a situation where your relationship ought to have provided fertile ground for the two of you to have an OOC conversation about what, in the game, is bugging you.
This is really important: resolve OOC things about communication first, in person, before the next gaming session. The game is nowhere near as important as your relationship.
Here are two possible serials to this situation:
You have a discussion and make peace with your SO/GM. The game proceeds.
You have a discussion with your SO and discover that your SO is using this gaming situation as a way to create distance between you. (I really, really hope that this is not the case).
If that's the case, the game is the least of your problems. Address your relationship, and work on it: screw the game.
There are other possible situations. Here is one outcome that can keep the peace in the relationship (@Wibbs, thanks for that point):
I offer you this answer based on experiences with people and games.