[RPG] I’m feeling like the character doesn’t fit the campaign

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My boyfriend is DMing a D&D 5e game for a good friend of mine and I. It's a pirate themed campaign, which I was excited about, and takes place in a universe where magic is not believed in by most (implying our characters might discover magic exists along the way.) That being said, I immediately wanted to play a pirate character because I thought it would be fun. I'm using the swashbuckler rogue with the charlatan background who doesn't believe in magic, but my friend's character is a scholar who is looking for evidence that magic exists.

I thought this would work out fine, but with the way the game has been set up it feels as though it's very catered toward the scholar character. Almost all the major NPCs joining the adventure have been scholar type characters and I keep losing motivation for why my character would care to be a part of the adventure. The one time my character would have seen magic to make them believe in it, they were doing something else and missed it, which means now I'm on a quest for magical items my character doesn't even believe in.

I keep having my character request payment for their sailing services in an attempt to keep them interested in what's going on, but my friend's character refuses to pay them anything and I feel like my character just has to do whatever the scholars want to do or else I'll just derail things.

I don't feel like my character can just walk away to do pirate things because I'm trying to be cooperative with the story, but when I bring up that my character is a pirate and probably wouldn't want to be doing favors for no reason, my friend gets upset and says I need to just go with the story and then continues to make all the decisions.

I talked to my DM and he said he was hoping to steer things in a direction that gives my character some more things to do besides being the one who just….has the boat. But we've played a few times now and I'm still feeling like my character isn't being utilized very well.

I told my DM that if it's easier I can just create a new character that's a better fit for the story since I thought we'd all be pirates and I could get away with more chaotic choices, but he seemed hesitant to have me switch characters.

I feel like this campaign is just not suited for my character even though I'm a pirate. I had the most fun in our one time in combat when we were fighting… pirates. The guys I should probably be allies with, haha. Combat has been the only time I've really felt like I could make some creative choices. In role-play situations, I feel like what my character wants doesn't have any weight.

How can I find a way to fit into the campaign in a way that makes my character feel utilised and me feel engaged? Would it be better if I just try to create a new character or to find a new motivation for my current character to stay with the scholar group?

I think I'd like to stay in the game with this group, if possible. If I'm doing something that needs to be changed that can fix things, I'm willing to do so.

Best Answer

Sometimes the game you are playing simply isn't the game you believed you signed up for. Happened to me few times, see first paragraph here for an example.

You talked to the DM and to the fellow player and it changed nothing. I believe they are trying; at least from your description we can assume good faith on the DM side. What you can do now is to talk to your DM and fellow player and tell them, without accusations, what you told us. You can dress it in words like this:

Guys, when I joined the game I thought we'd all be pirates and I could get away with more chaotic choices. I had the most fun in our one time in combat when we were fighting.... pirates. The guys I should probably be allies with. Combat has been the only time I've really felt like I could make some creative choices. In role-play situations, I feel like what my character wants doesn't have any weight.

This is not the game I believed I signed up for. And this is not the game I created my character for. There must have been a huge misunderstanding, and now it prevents me from having fun. I don't feel my character has any reason to continue doing what she is doing, and I won't have fun playing her if this will not change, so we need to have this fixed. I guess we can either change the story, or get me a new character, this time one that fits.

Note that I mostly used your own words - you are really good describing things without getting aggressive and accusatory, good for you!

What can happen is:

  1. Campaign will change. You will work something out to make your character relevant and give him reasons and goals that actually make sense, possibly with minor retcons. NPCs and encounters will give you opportunity to shine and affect the story. You are good.
  2. DM will help you create character that's relevant and fun for you to play. You'll roleplay transition, or just do it as downtime description of event. Your new character will have his goals and needs that fits the campaign you're playing. Great.
  3. DM will tell you 1. or 2. is happening, but nothing will really change.
  4. They will tell you that it's going to be better "later" or something like that. Remind them previous conversations and firmly state that "later" is now, and you do not accept any more delays or vague declarations.

Three is a sad part, but you probably should be prepared that it may happen. In my experience, this is the time your character just sails away* and you stop appearing to the sessions, at least for this campaign. If talking about the issue two or three times changes nothing, it is hard to believe fourth time will help.

I have told my players in Bastion RPG Club things like "Sorry, but I can't make this campaign fun for you while keeping it fun for other players, I tried but I failed, can't help it. Please accept my apology.". I had my character removed from adventures on my own initiative if needed be. Sometimes different campaign in the same group, or different gaming group, may simply be much better fit for you. If that's the case, you need to honestly answer very important questions:

Is it a good use of my time, playing a game that's no fun to me? Am I willing to do it? Why am I doing it?

If you decide it is not a good use of your time, you are not willing and do not have good reason, play your last session, let your character die or ally with pirates, thank other participants for playing. Be polite, but be firm - you have the right to have fun just like everyone else, and you have the right to quit if you're not getting it.

* Actually one of my characters simply retired, and I let two of them die, once even refusing DM "deus ex machina" to keep him alive.

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