I don't think you need to search very far -
See these quotes from the warlock class description (Complete Arcane P. 5-6)
WARLOCK
Born of a supernatural bloodline, a warlock seeks to master the perilous magic that suffuses his soul [...]
[...]
Adventures: Many warlocks are champions of dark and chaotic powers. Long ago, they (or in some cases, their ancestors) forged grim pacts with dangerous extraplanar powers, trading portions of their souls in exchange for supernatural power. While many warlocks have turned away from evil [...] they are still chained by the old packs through which they acquired their powers [...]
[...]
Background: Warlocks are born, not made. Some are descendants of people who trafficked with demons and devils long ago. Some seek out the dark powers as youths, [...] but a few blameless individuals are simply marked out by the supernatural forces as conduits and tools.
The exact nature of the warlock's origin is up to the player to decide;
[...]
In fact, many warlocks are created by nonevil powers - wild or fey forces that can be every bit as dangerous as demons or devils.
(All emphasis mine)
AFIK, This is the source for the definition of warlock class in D&D 3.5, with Complete Mage expanding on it, including providing rules for warlock of non-fiendish origin, among other things.
At any rate, three things are stated here which are relevant to your question:
Not all warlocks have actively made a pact with a supernatural power
The exact nature of the warlock's origin is up to the player to decide.
The description provides three alternatives:
- Your warlock made a pact with a "supernatural power" himself.
- Your warlock's ancestors made the pact.
- Your warlock is one of the "[few blameless individuals who] are simply marked out by the supernatural forces". He didn't choose it - they've chosen him...
So, if your warlock's is a "type 2" or "type 3" - he didn't make the pact himself.
Not all warlocks have a fiendish origin
In fact, many warlocks are created by nonevil powers - wild or fey forces that can be every bit as dangerous as demons or devils.
So, your warlock may have an elemental lord, powerful fey or even a slaadi or celestial as the source behind his power.
Every warlock owes his powers to some extraplanar or supernatural source creature
Even if your warlord didn't make a pact himself, and even if his source is not fiendish, there's no such thing as a "self empowered" warlock.
While many warlocks have turned away from evil [...] they are still chained by the old packs through which they acquired their powers.
While this have very little effect from a mechanical perspective, the warlock class is defined with this "built-in" narrative conflict or impediment - he has a would-be master - Some powerful extraplanar entity which have plans or invested interest in the warlock.
Since this entity isn't as mighty as a deity, the warlock doesn't lose his powers if he deviates from his would-be master's plans, and he may even defy him outright. But, if you play a warlock, it comes as a given that you should expect some supernatural meddling in your affairs - maybe the warlock is merely observed, maybe he is not that important to that entity, and maybe it'll notice him only after he attracts its attention (by going with / against its interests or by simply becoming powerful enough to serve it as a useful tool).
So, while you are technically correct in that not all warlocks personally made a pact with a fiend, you should still work with your DM to define the source of your powers. At the very least, provide the type of that source(1), i.e. whether your warlock powers are fiendish / elemental / fey / celestial / etc in nature. But I'd recommend that you describe the source as an entity, with schemes and goals of its own(2) - you'll be missing out on role-play opportunities, plot-hooks and character depth if you settle on a generic "its in my bloodline" origin.
Finally
As a side note, you state in the question that this group has a certain way of doing things, so I wonder how constructive can "smacking them with a sourcebook" be. Clearly, a healthy gaming group should be open to debate regarding rules, and perhaps even settings and campaign world elements (to some degree), but in the end, the DM calls the shots, especially when it comes to the narrative setting. So unless you can convince your DM and group to go along with your interpretation, you may have to play with them on their terms, or leave that group - no matter how many sourcebooks and splatbooks are on your side...
(1) I don't know how much leeway a DM has when running NWN2, but at a tabletop game there could be a vast difference in the way an invocation is described, and how NPCs react to such manifestations, depending on the warlock's origin - for example, a good cleric may instinctively oppose anyone who displays demonic powers, while being indifferent to someone using the same powers flavored as fey or elemental.
(2) The specifics of these schemes probably could be left to the DM to use/abuse without sharing the details and ruining the surprise for you...
Best Answer
Probably not
The Warlock class feature, "Pact of the Blade" gives you two options to make a pact weapon:
Option 1: Creating a pact weapon
If you create a pact weapon, you can choose it's form, but are limited to melee weapons listed on the "Weapons" table in the player's handbook:
Rules answers, April 2016:
So, you could select quarterstaff. But just because an arcane or druidic focus staff can act as a quarterstaff, that doesn't necessarily mean that a quarterstaff can act as a focus staff. Neither the arcane staff nor druidic staff are ordinary quarterstaffs.
Arcane staff, PHB p. 151:
Druidic staff, PHB p. 151:
A created pact weapon certainly isn't drawn whole out of a living tree, and nothing in the rules indicates that it is designed to channel the power of arcane spells.
Option 2: Transforming a Magic Weapon
While, I am not aware of any magic weapon that explicitly acts as a arcane or druidic focus, Jeremy Crawford has given his opinion on twitter, that any magic wand can be used as an arcane focus. So your DM may take that into consideration, and also agree that any magic staff can also act as an arcane or druidic focus.
Also, there is nothing preventing your DM from putting such an item in your game, and per the rules you would be able to make it your pact weapon. As far as I can tell, this is your only option.