This winds up getting away from the idea of the hulking thug rogue/barbarian; the solitary barbarian level is used to grant mobility and agility rather than strength and endurance. That said, this is a very vicious combat build with lots of dirty tricks, very capable of pouncing on opponents unawares and tearing into them in an unholy frenzy.
The Assassin
For a low-optimization, low-magic campaign, where you want to focus on stealth and skills but still be able to deal the hurt, you could do a lot worse than the core assassin prestige class. It gets a number of low-level spells, so it should not be a problem for low-magic, but if there’s little magic available, you definitely want what little you can get.
If alignment is an issue, consider the avenger: it replaces the Evil requirement with a Non-Chaotic requirement, which is often much more amenable to characters.
Spells
Spells are the reason you go this route. The assassin spell list is quite solid, for as small a list as it is, and it will likely fly well in a low-magic game.
This recommendation does assume that you have access, at the least, to Spell Compendium. The core assassin spell list leaves a lot to be desired. If you want to use the avenger, also make sure your DM is OK with adding the Spell Compendium assassin spells to the avenger list. That’s in line with the guidance in that book for non-core spellcasting classes on pg. 3, so it shouldn’t be a problem, but it’s a conversation you should have.
Psionics
The psionic assassin from Secrets of Sarlona also exists, and adds the very interesting option of using Expanded Knowledge for psionic minor creation, which is an excellent way to get poisons. That said, unless your DM allows other assassin spells to be converted into psionic counterparts, it’s not a great option. If you can, then you might as well?
Death Attack
Don’t focus too much on Death Attack; at best you can attempt it during a surprise round after spending three rounds studying your target out of combat. Attempting to hide and wait three rounds mid-combat is always a bad play.
Poison Use
Poison Use is meh; if you want to use poison, you want the Master of Poisons feat from Drow of the Underdark anyway. That said, Master of Poisons is a quite-solid feat, and Craft (poisonmaking) can get you poison at a huge discount (if you have a source of materials, ⅙ market price). Poisons provide a way to apply debilitating effects along with straight damage. See the Arsenic and Old Lace handbook for more details if you’re interested in going for poisons.
Again, if you are avoiding being Evil, you have to clarify something with the DM: poisons, according to Player’s Handbook and Dungeon Master’s Guide, are not evil, though usually illegal (and always dishonorable, which is why they are barred to paladins). Book of Exalted Deeds, however, says they are actually Evil – and then gives a definition/explanation of how and why they’re Evil that would include, for example, the natural poison of the couatl, that is, a notably Good creature. Book of Exalted Deeds is not a good book. Just make sure, if you don’t want to be Evil, that your DM agrees that Book of Exalted Deeds is stupid, and poisons aren’t any more inherently evil than swords.
Hide in Plain Sight
It’s a long time coming, but getting Hide in Plain Sight, along with taking the Darkstalker feat from Lords of Madness, will prevent a lot of the major ways to simply shut down your stealth. Highly recommended.
The Black Dog
This prestige class from Dragonmarked stacks with assassin levels for Death Attack DCs, and has a couple of excellent abilities aimed at poison. I’ve decided that poison is a good direction to take this, hence its appearance here.
The black dog requires the Mark of Hospitality feat, which in Eberron is limited to halflings. This is a matter of setting fluff, so if you aren’t playing in Eberron, the Mark of Hospitality might be available to half-orcs. On the other hand, I actually like halfling a great deal more than half-orc here. It does mean a shift from Strength to Dexterity which you may find undesirable, but half-orc is quite weak, and the halfling’s size is basically all to your benefit (average of −1 on damage rolls, but +1 attack, +4 to stealth, and +1 to AC). The existence of the strongheart halfling (Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting) really seals that deal.
Suggested Build
Strongheart Halfling Rogue 3/Barbarian 1/something 1/Black Dog 5/Assassin 10
At Rogue 2, the Penetrating Strike alternate class feature (Dungeonscape) is key, and at Barbarian 1, you really want the Lion Spiritual Totem alternate class feature (Complete Champion) to get Pounce instead of Fast Movement (you’re not a charger per se, but you do want to maintain mobility and full-attacks, and pounce is a really good way to do that).
I’d replace Rage with Ferocity, though I’d also consider Whirling Frenzy.
The something 1 I’m not sure about; barbarian 2 is OK but not great, rogue 4 is fairly mediocre...
Some options that should be no problem:
Fighter. You want Weapon Finesse at this point, so that’s a use for your bonus feat, and the Hit-and-Run Tactics alternate class feature from Drow of the Underdark trades some armor and shield proficiency you probably won’t use for +2 to initiative and Dex-to-damage vs. flat-footed foes, which is awesome.
Ranger. Simple: full BAB and 6+Int skills. Boring, but functional.
Anything that gives Sneak Attack +1d6 at first level. Again, boring, but functional.
Some options that probably aren’t allowed, but could be awesome:
Cleric. Best single-level dip in the game, bar none. Could be worth it even if you get none of its spells. Domain granted powers are awesome, and failing that you can trade them for Devotion feats (Complete Champion), many of which are excellent. Turn/Rebuke Undead is excellent for Divine feats, including the amazing Lolth’s Caress (Drow of the Underdark). While a halfling who worships Lolth is weird, with this build’s interest in poison it’s not a stretch to worship the goddess of spiders. Or if Lolth doesn’t exist in your setting, maybe you can just ignore that requirement.
Ardent or Psion. One level is sufficient to manifest psionic minor creation, which will get you a plant-based poison that lasts an hour. Not a bad deal at all.
Swordsage. Cloak of deception provides instant flat-footing for an enemy, once per encounter, while shadow jaunt provides great mobility. Wolf fang strike and sudden leap allow you to continue to dual-wield effectively even when you’re forced to move and cannot charge. If you later take Martial Stance, you can snag assassin’s stance for +2d6 Sneak Attack damage.
Anyway, you definitely want the Craven (Champions of Ruin), Darkstalker (Lords of Madness), Master of Poisons (Drow of the Underdark), and Weapon Finesse feats. Plus, black dog requires Mark of Hospitality (Eberron Campaign Setting).
The feats Extra Rage (Complete Warrior) and Wild Cohort could be very nice for you, if you can squeeze them in (maybe later, or if you take a Fighter level and have another feat to play with). Note that I don’t recommend Wild Cohort so you have a pet fighting alongside you: I recommend it so you have a reliable, cheap poison dispenser following you around. Unfortunately, both feats are kind of lackluster by the time they fit into the build I am proposing.
Anyway, your feats may look like this:
- Bonus racial feat: Weapon Finesse
- 1st-level feat: Master of Poisons
- 3rd-level feat: Mark of Hospitality
- 6th-level feat: Darkstalker
- 9th-level feat: Craven
- 12th-level feat: Extra Rage?
- 15th-level feat: Wild Cohort?
With this combination, your attacks hit hard, and you are hard to find. You have poisons that you can use selectively, and they are very dangerous. You have a smattering of spells that will make a huge difference in a low-magic world. Seems like a pretty solid approach to me.
I believe that this problem can and should be dealt with entirely out of character. I have been a GM for a number of years, and my games often cover difficult and mature topics. In order to make this work it is essential that players feel they can talk to me when there are themes which they find difficult. It is then entirely my responsibility to be sensitive to this when I plan my campaign and what PCs are going to encounter.
In your situation you have clearly had a very difficult experience. I believe that your GM was fundamentally wrong and out of order to include this content when they already knew about the issue. This is completely unacceptable behavior. Any GM who does things like this is not worth playing a game with as you cannot trust them.
I can understand your thought processes in trying to minimise the chances of this happening again, but from my experience the only way you can approach this is to be open and upfront with any GM you play with in the future. Be clear about the bad experience you've had in the past, and that this is non-negotiable. A good GM will be absolutely fine with this and work with you to create a game where everyone is comfortable and safe. If they argue, or resist then walk away.
Another thing that works well for me is telling players that they can stop the game at any point where they are uncomfortable, for whatever reason. I call this a timeout, and the facility allows us to handle situations where things come up that suprise both me and the players. As an example of this, a recent session involved roleplaying a group counselling session for one of the PCs, where the other players temporarily took on the roles of the others attending the group. After a short period of time, one of the players called a timeout as they were finding the session difficult. This was a suprising reaction for the player, who hadn't realised they would find such content difficult. As a result of the timeout, I faded to black on the scene and we worked out a way of moving on without compromising the story.
Of course, there is nothing to prevent you also going ahead and making a character that is resistant to the effects that make you uncomfortable as well. I would just urge you not to rely on this as the only measure you take, as it is far from being foolproof. For example, some GMs will see it as a challenge to probe the design of your character for weaknesses they can exploit to make encounters suprising and unexpected. It is virtually impossible to second guess every approach a GM might take. By being open with your GM, you can be as sure as possible that you will have a safe and enjoyable gaming experience.
Best Answer
The primary tactic
...to avoid being forced to flank with sneak attack is to cause them to otherwise lose their Dex to AC, which also allows sneak attack.
Being blinded, stunned, in a grapple, or flat-footed (surprised, climbing, balancing, surprise round of combat if you win initiative, etc) all normally cause one to lose the Dexterity bonus to AC (but watch out for special feats or class features that may override this).
Skills
Hiding is your friend:
Note also the sniping entry in the Hide skill (see Rules Compendium for the latest updated text on Hide). Flat-footed = able to sneak attack. So long as you can stay hidden, you can sneak attack all day long. See also Total Concealment and Total Cover. Note that Total Concealment often cancels the need for a Hide check, a sneaky way to make that Hide check with the hefty penalty from sniping. DM call, though. Abuse it at your own risk.
Using Hide can make your opponent flat-footed, but you still have the immunity issue to address...
Powers and Spells
Improved invisibility or Invisibility will deny your opponents their Dex, unless they have a see invisible effect of some kind.
The lowly Grease spell forces a balance check upon anyone in the area of effect when they try to move, which oddly means that they are now automatically flat-footed, even if you succeed the check. Ergo, automatically vulnerable to sneak attack. Note that if they stay put, they only have to make a Reflex save and are not flat-footed. Also, if they have 5 or more ranks in Balance, they are not considered flat-footed when attempting to balance. If they fall, they are prone, but they are still not flat-footed, though they will provoke an AoO if they try to get up.
Grave Strike, Golem Strike, and Vine Strike spells allow you deal sneak attack damage for the duration of the spell as if the creature (undead, construct, and plant respectively) was not immune.
Blink also works, though most people prefer items with the blink effect.
Psionics are generally great for sneak attacking, as you can use the Sneak Attacking with Spells rules for the attack, and use your Psicraft skill to suppress the power display, which effectively makes most powers non-obvious. Combine with Hide for a truly sickening sniper type. Note that a lot of attack powers have secondary displays which cannot be suppressed like the primary display, so that hide check can become critical. Most of the non-obvious ones are [Mind-Affecting], which has it's own issues as to what it can and can't attack, so be aware.
Feats
Razing Strike feat allows you to sacrifice a spell, do bonus damage based on the spell level and get extra damage equal to your sneak attack damage. Note however that this is not a sneak attack itself, even though it benefits you by your having sneak attack.
Supernatural Strike feat allows you to deal critical damage to creatures normally immune to crits (undead, oozes, and constructs are listed as examples) if you roll a threat against the creature, and then confirm the threat. (Note, that this feat is from the d20 Modern SRD, and is thus compatible with 3.5, which is part of d20. But check with your DM first.)
Items
The weapon crystals of truedeath and demolition allow one to sneak attack undead and constructs respectively.
Items with the blink effect are popular, as are the various 'strike' spells mentioned above.
Deathstrike Bracers - sneak attack elementals and oozes.
Dagger of Deadly Precision +4d6 damage*
Rogue's Vest +1d6 damage*
Class Abilities
SkullClan hunter Divine Strike - seems to deal bonus damage equal to sneak attack bonus damage when attacking undead.
You already know about penetrating strike. I seem to recall a ranged attack option ACF that allowed one to ranged flank in one of the combat oriented complete books. Ranger oriented? Causes them to count as flanked until your next turn, iirc. Helpful for setups, anyway.
There is a psionic class that allows one to flank from non-standard positions. Complete psionic - Elocater. Again, helpful for setups.
Conclusion
There may be more, this is just off the top of my head. I did not cover all the methods to boost sneak attack damage per se, but a few appear in my list.